Ever have those times where you feel like you’re ready to fly off the handle and you don’t really know why? We often attribute it to “I’m just feeling hormonal” or “I must be PMS’ing”. Then we grit our teeth, muscle through our interactions with our spouse, our kids, and our coworkers, and wait for the storm to pass. And since it often does, we think that it must have been our hormones that were in charge of our feelings. But I want to offer you a different perspective…

 

Now, let me be crystal clear: as a gynecologist, I believe that hormonal medications are useful tools and can be very helpful in managing the ups and downs of hormonal changes in a woman’s life. I prescribe hormones all the time for a variety of needs, and they generally work in the way we expect they will. But as a holistic practitioner, I do not believe that every difficult emotional situation we deal with should be medicated away or blamed on hormones. Hormones are simply chemical messengers that communicate from one organ to another, and our sex hormones (which are the ones we blame for emotional upset) are no different. We experience them differently in different phases of our lives than others (think puberty and menopause), but they are still just chemical messengers. And because we are complex integrated beings with life situations and past trauma and stressors and celebrations and tragedies, we can experience our hormones differently depending on our own unique lives. If you are experiencing difficulty with how you are experiencing your hormonal changes regularly, please talk to your gynecologist about this. But a lot of women have occasional times that seem to be really out of character and these can be tough to navigate. For this type of situation, I offer that these times should get your attention because your body is trying to tell you something. Let me give you an example from my own life.

 

 

For the past week and a half, I’ve known something was different this month. I used to be one of those women who didn’t think too much about my cycles – they came when they were supposed to, I didn’t suffer with them much, I made sure I had effective contraception when I wasn’t trying to get pregnant and I took an occasional ibuprofen when I needed it. I know, lucky me! In truth, I think I wasn’t really paying much attention to myself, and the physical sensations I felt I could explain, so I took them in stride. But now in my 40’s I’m noticing that some months are amplified, more of every symptom seems to be there. Sometimes it’s really uncomfortable, and because I rarely take medication I notice when I feel bad enough to think about taking something. Now with a teen in the house, I’m paying even closer attention because I’m noticing that my cycles are starting to sync up with hers.

I started noticing some unusual physical symptoms last week. Not to be indelicate, but I’m super regular to the point that I know around what time I’ll need the bathroom each morning. It’s rarely a big deal because I take psyllium fiber for the health benefits so the go is easy too, but even before I was taking it my bowels just didn’t give me any trouble. Last week, I got off schedule. For several days, I didn’t know what was happening and my schedule was totally strange. And, I was gassy and bloated and uncomfortable – but I hadn’t changed anything. I went to the teenager and started asking questions about when her period was coming, for which I got a strange look and a vague answer (she’s not used to tracking yet). I’ve been extra tired, where even when I slept for what should have been enough time, I was still getting up angry at the alarm clock. One night, I had so much pain in my lower belly that I curled up in bed with a heating pad to sleep.

 

 

Some months are like this. The symptoms may vary, but whatever they are they are more intense and bothersome than usual. I know a lot of you have felt this way and are wondering what should be done about it because it’s not pleasant. But here’s what I want to suggest: What if your body is trying to tell you something? What if you’re experiencing more discomfort because your body is trying to get you to pay attention to what you need? Here’s what I’ve observed in my life and the lives of many of the women I take care of. We have a tendency to be the caretakers – for our families, for our friends, for others. And sometimes the needs of others are very demanding, so we often put ourselves at the bottom of the priority list. When everyone else is fed and care for, we figure that then we can take care of ourselves. And many times, we don’t get to the end of our list. So when things are extra challenging (like during a global pandemic), we hustle harder to take care of everyone and spend even less attention and care on ourselves. For me, between the stress of working in medicine during the pandemic, running our homeschool, managing our teacher, caring for the kids, trying to maintain closeness with my husband, building my life coaching practice, writing the blog and updating the YouTube channel, and managing my anger and sadness in our current climate of racial injustice, I am just wrung out. Right now, at least. It’s not all the things I’m doing, because I like most of the things I’m doing, and the optional ones are probably some of the ones I enjoy the most! But all the thoughts that are swirling around about the more challenging responsibilities are taking a toll because I haven’t been managing them as well as I need to. And that is what I’m seeing show up in my body this month.

 

So what do I do? The first step is to breathe and give myself some grace. I have to acknowledge that this is a time that for me that is unlike any I’ve seen before, and I’m figuring it out. We all are, whether we’re in the office or hospital seeing patients with COVID, or being at home more than we ever wanted with kids who are making it hard to get work done and are eating every available snack in the house so everything is gone before the next planned grocery trip. The next step is to double down on doing what I know I need to do to support myself. I have to be super strict about bedtime because getting loose with the TV time at night always bites me in the butt in the morning. I plan my meals and drink my water. I take my immune-boosting supplements because Lord knows I need all these things to stay healthy right now. I evaluate and re-evaluate my calendar and take off things that are unnecessary so that I can read and rest so I don’t feel dragged by my schedule. There’s a lot that isn’t really optional unless I want to quit my job and run away from home (I don’t). So when I feel my body reflecting my mind, I know I have to be even more intentional about managing my thinking and my schedule so I’m taken care of, even as I take care of others.

 

 

What do you do when you feel like you’re having a crazy-hormonal time? How do you cope? Please share in the comments below!

 

And, if you’re having trouble managing your mind alone, that’s what I help people do in one-on-one coaching sessions! If you’d like to set up a time for coaching help, I have a few remaining slots. I’m still taking a few clients without charging while I’m building my practice. Please comment below if you’d like to set up a time and I’ll reach out to you directly. I’d love to help!

 

This is the last class in the Finding Fullness weight loss class – join me!