Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I have wonderful memories of being at my grandmother’s house, hanging out with my cousins, eating the turkey, cornbread stuffing (dressing?), stewed tomatoes, sweet potatoes, rolls, collards, and on and on. It’s a day about family, food and football. Every year, when the Christmas decorations come out earlier and earlier in the stores, I remember the reason Thanksgiving gets skipped over: There’s no real commercial aspect to exploit. That’s the biggest reason I like Thanksgiving – it’s all about abundance, giving, and spending time with people you love. Not spending money and running around in stores (except for the food!).

 

My white pumpkin centerpiece this year…

 

I’m sad about Thanksgiving this year though. I’m on call for 24 hours on Thanksgiving, so I didn’t prepare a big dinner, because I may not be here to cook it! Since we can’t travel and don’t have family here to do the dinner, we were invited to a friend’s house to share their dinner. The nice thing is, Perry and the kids will have a Thanksgiving dinner, even if I can’t go. But I’m hoping and praying I will be able to go. And I’m cooking our turkey and sides on Friday (no, I’m not participating in Black Friday shopping – I just can’t fight crowds for stuff!). We gotta have Thanksgiving leftovers!

 

The holidays can be hard too, though. Many people are missing loved ones who have passed on, and some have endured tragedies in holidays past. All the hustle can be a bit much too; the preparations and the cooking and the cleaning, travel and packing. All the running around and doing can make you want to pack up like a hermit and not come out until the new year. Maybe that’s just me. I have five birthdays and an anniversary to celebrate in addition to the holidays between Halloween and the end of January, so this is definitely the “high season” in our family. It’s a lot!

 

So here’s what I’m learning: It’s all about how you look at it. I can so easily pick apart all the challenges and difficulties, even create a few in my head that never happen, and then I feel so rushed and worn out. You wonder why some people are ready for this season to be over? This is why. But I’m learning how to slow things down. And this is part two of Getting the Good We Need: Gratitude. ‘TIs the season!

 

Our grateful tree with our most cherished gifts…

 

There are lots of reasons to be grateful. The benefits to a gratitude practice include:

  • Stronger immune systems and lower blood pressure;
  • Higher levels of positive emotions;
  • More joy, optimism, and happiness;
  • Acting with more generosity and compassion;
  • Feeling less lonely and isolated.
 
These benefits are actually borne out in the scientific literature! But I have another, less talked about reason. Gratitude can slow time down. Aren’t we always asking for more time? We give up our sleep, we rush around in circles, we “multitask”, all in the effort to have more time. But we’re not even enjoying the 24 hours we have each day! We push and strain and wear down and get up again to do it all over. There is a better way. We can “pause” time by noticing the beauty in the moments as we live them. Sounds unrealistic? Keep reading…
 
 Candle beauty on my table…
 
 
A few years ago, I started a joy dare (1000 Gifts, Ann Voskamp). I’ve mentioned it before, but if you haven’t read this book, you might want to. The practice of writing down three things a day that I was grateful for to get to 1000 in one year seemed really simple. But brilliance is often simple. The practice radically changed my life. I’ve said before that I’ve always been a glass-half-empty kind of girl, and my mom always said I was a pessimist. But gratitude has been the soil that has grown new joy and goodness in me. It’s what helps me to take a deep breath when things seem to be going off the rails. It’s what makes me feel compassion instead of irritation when people around me are complaining. It’s what I know has gotten left behind when I’m snappy and short-tempered with everyone.  When I’m writing down my gifts (yes, you have to write them down!), I get to see the good things happening in my life. Otherwise, we just remember the notable tough moments and gloss right over the good, noble, beautiful, funny, and sweet.  Let me give you some examples…
 
40. Dark sky and no moon, starry beauty
41. Practicing Roman numerals with Ana
42. Dinner as a family on a Wednesday night
 
 
Simple, right? These are moments I noticed and recorded for myself. If you haven’t done this before, it’s very easy. Get a mini notebook for your purse, kitchen countertop, bedside table. Keep a list on your phone or tablet. Write down at least three things a day that you saw as good, even if it’s the tiniest thing. Here’s the thing: at first it can be hard. We’re wired and practiced at seeing flaws, problems, the troubles. So seeing the good, even in tough situations can seem like climbing that rope in elementary school gym class – just not gonna happen! But it will.  Nothing is too small. You keep looking and you will see it.  Here are a few more from this year’s list:
 
67. Chocolate mousse cake at the hospital dinner meeting
68. Pretty hair done for both big girls
69. Double chocolate cookie dough with the BIG chocolate chips
 
These are memories I get to keep. The taste of that cake, the feeling of accomplishment from finishing the girl’s hair, the cocoa stained fingers from the cookie dough, these are moments I’ve captured and can enjoy again, instead of the many I’ve lost by rushing through. See, for most of my life, I’ve pushed hard to accomplish things in the name of excellence. I try hard to be an excellent wife, mom, and doctor. But I’ve missed so much of my life, hurrying, pushing hard against time. And while in my roles I may be a professional, I’m sitting in the ranks of amateur when it comes to truly living this life I have. Evelyn Underhill said it best when she said, “On every level of life, from housework to heights of prayer, in all judgement and efforts to get things done, hurry and impatience are sure mark of the amateur.”
 
 
 Fire and ice roses just because…
 
 
A few more from my list…
 
624. Sleeping with my window open
625. Spring starting, smell of green
626. Eating wheat berries and feeling good
 
Gratitude is a practice that gives back to us what we have lost – our time. We can recapture the moments and rebuild the life that we have been passing by in our hurry to get to the next thing. This is good we desperately need in our lives, so go get it!
 
 
What are you doing to practice gratitude? How do you live in the moment? How are you doing with getting the sleep you need (Series Part I)? Share with us in the comments section below!