Hey – welcome back! It’s so good to have you here for this last episode in our series on the costs of NOT losing the weight. Today we’re going to talk about the loss of intimacy that we experience when we live in a body that’s heavier than we want. I know you’re thinking this is going to be all about sex – but it’s so much more than that. Keep reading…
First, though, let’s get to the easy part: What about sex? Yes, that’s part of the cost. If you don’t feel good in your body as you walk around in your daily life, it’s not very likely that you’re going to feel free and uninhibited in your intimate physical life. Especially when you’re with someone else and you take your clothes off, you’re not likely to let that be the situation where you radically transform and feel great in your body. You might, but chances are that’s not how it’s going down. You may limit what you’ll try with your spouse because you’re preoccupied with thinking about what your body looks like without clothes. That’s a loss…
But it’s not the only one. There’s an even deeper level of intimacy that you’re sacrificing, and that’s the one with yourself. Let me show you what I mean.
Most of us have battled our weight problem for years. We’ve tried diet after diet, new exercise programs, supplements, and pills and none of them have worked for permanent weight loss. But in the midst of that struggle, there’s a narrative going on in the back of your brain that says, “I just can’t do this. I just can’t lose this weight.” Then whatever we try to lose weight is doomed to fail.
Even worse than that is the erosion of trust we have with ourselves. We know deep down that the reason most of these diets and programs haven’t worked is that we’ve cheated on them or gave up on them. At some point, we decided we didn’t like the diet, it was too hard, we slowed or stopped losing weight and we stopped following the plan. We know that we sabotaged ourselves and that we are the cause of our own failure.
That’s where the true loss of intimacy happens.
When we break promises to ourselves over and over, we start to believe that we can’t really trust ourselves. The connection, the bond between who we are today and who we were in the past is connected. If we believe that who we are today is someone who doesn’t keep promises to ourselves, then we don’t make decisions that we will honor today either. We don’t believe that we can and are making decisions around our weight that should be trusted. So, we break the promises we make around losing weight, we sabotage our plan, we tell ourselves today that it won’t matter tomorrow. And we don’t lose weight and we gain more.
But the real loss is the connection we have within ourselves, the intimacy of knowing that we can trust ourselves. We lose out on knowing that no matter what, we have our own back. We miss out on building closeness and intimacy within ourselves. That’s a pretty high cost to pay!
You don’t have to keep paying it though. This is one of the things I work on with my clients – how to learn to trust themselves again, to make decisions and honor them, to know that weight loss is possible for them. Then they prove themselves right! It’s one of the things that I love most about coaching – watching my clients regain trust in themselves as they lose their weight for good!
You can do it! If you want to get help to get to your weight loss goal and build back your intimacy with yourself, email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com to schedule your consultation. I can help you create permanent weight loss and get the life you really want!
Here’s your video help for the week!