Yes, yes, yes! I just reread this post and I needed this reminder, especially on the heels of my third eye surgery and an ugly night on call. I’m so tempted to get into hustle mode instead of really getting the rest I need. But instead of pushing through the pain in my eye and my fatigue to get THE LIST done, I’m making space for the sleep I need and some nurturing after taking care of my patients through the night.
What do you need today?
It’s the last week of our Self Care series! I’m glad you’re here. Whether you’re joining in just now or have been following along the whole time, you’re here because self-care means something to you. We’ve talked about the reasons for self-care, the benefits of self-care, and why we think we can’t have more self-care in our lives.
This week I want to consider what happens if we don’t make space for self-care.
Here’s the deal: I’m the most guilty of all when it comes to packing my schedule with to-dos and filling up all my time with what needs to be done next. I’m not here as the self-care guru sitting on high, teaching everyone else from a place of full self-actualization and nirvana.
I’m not that girl.
I’m the one running around, hair-on-fire, caffeinating when needed, and hating on the alarm when it goes off in the mornings. I’m the one crying silent tears when I look at my to-do list and then telling myself to put on my big girl panties and deal. I’m hustling, running, working/parenting/cooking/cleaning, trying desperately to get to the end so I can rest.
It’s a trap.
Here’s the truth: There is no end to the to-do list.
If you plan to rest when you get all the work done, if you think you’ll take care of yourself when everyone and everything is taken care of, you’ll never get there. Your rest can’t wait until everything is done. You will never get everything done. The only way you will have the stamina to get through all your work is to fuel yourself. Everyone needs whole foods, clean water, rest, friendship, and recreation. You are not an exception.
Besides, who really wants a life where you race through on fumes and arrive at the end, not having enjoyed the journey? What’s the point of working the whole of your adult life, hoping to have a life you enjoy later? I used to think that that was how life was supposed to be lived – work really hard, save money, enjoy life in retirement if you’ve planned/saved/worked hard enough. I’m reevaluating my whole outlook on that. I’m not advocating for being irresponsible with your time and money, but putting off enjoying your life in a hustle to enjoy it later is a losing proposition.
First, what about all the time you’re spending in your life right now? If I can’t enjoy the work I do every day, then why am I doing it? There are other ways to make money. I can choose to enjoy my work, my family, my friends, and my home as it is now. I don’t have to wait until everything is done and perfect before I enjoy it. Why would I sign up for forty years of burnout, fatigue, and stagnation when I can incorporate good and nourishing things in my life every day? I have time to breathe mindfully every day. I can go for long walks sometimes. Bubble baths are lovely. I can buy flowers with my groceries. Yoga helps me feel good in my body and my mind. Daily prayer keeps me connected and faithful. I can go on my solo retreats. I can have a spa day (when COVID ends!). There’s more – and I don’t have to wait for any of it.
Second, hustling your buns off now to enjoy life later can backfire. I’ve seen people arrive at their planned retirement after years of work they didn’t enjoy to enter those years with a diagnosis that prevented them from doing the traveling and fun that they anticipated. Their spouse gets sick and retirement becomes a time of doctor visits and medication regimens. The bottom falls out of the market and there’s not enough money for the retirement they planned.
It’s not that I’ve lost my belief in planning for the future. But certainty in the future is a myth. None of us know for sure what’s coming tomorrow, much less in 20 years. What I have is today. I have now. It’s possible to plan and enjoy life now too!
What do you want to do with today?
It’s simple to decide to get off the hamster wheel, but it’s not easy. If you feel stuck in the way you’ve been living your life, or you just can’t get out of your own way to get the weight off, I’m here to help! Email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and let’s set up a consultation. We can get you moving again!
Here’s your video help for the week!