Category Archives: Mind Management

Welcome, welcome, welcome! It’s so good to have you here!

Can you tell I’m excited about this week’s post? This series on the costs of NOT losing weight has been such a great topic to teach. I have said it before and I’ll say it again: The first step in change is awareness. Once we can see what is, we have a chance to change to create what we want. Permanent weight loss begins with awareness; awareness of the situation, the desire for change, and the costs of not changing. These weeks that we’ve been looking at the costs of not changing have reminded me to go get what I want – I hope they’re doing the same for you!

This week we’re going to talk about the loss of confidence that comes with NOT losing the weight. I want to make a disclaimer first: I am a fan of the body positivity movement. I do NOT believe that you have to be a certain size to be confident, and I celebrate women who strut their stuff in any size body!

Your body is a gift, a temple, and it’s to be cared for and nourished, not shamed. Shame is one of the worst places from which to make a change – I never, ever teach my clients to lose weight from shame. Shame sounds like, “I shouldn’t be this big”, or “I really should get this weight off”. “Should” comes from judgment, and judgment produces shame, and shame is corrosive. It eats away at us, tears us down, makes us shrink from living this beautiful, glorious gift of life we’ve been given. Shame is not good weight loss fuel!

But what if you’ve decided that you just don’t want to be in the size body you’re in anymore? What if you’re ready to change it? Let’s look at what happens when we want to lose weight but aren’t doing it. What’s the cost in terms of confidence?

One way we figure out what we’re missing is to ask what we’d do differently in our lighter bodies. If we were at the weight we feel comfortable with, how would we show up in our lives? Would we try new things, ask for the raise, create something new?

Another idea to consider what we aren’t doing now because we feel like we can’t. What aren’t you going for because “it’s not what someone my size does”? Are you missing out on a dance class because you don’t like how you’d look in the class mirrors? What about that massage you’d love to schedule but hate the thought of getting naked and exposed for the therapist? There’s something you’re not doing because you feel hesitant to try it in the body you’re in right now. What are you missing out on?

Sometimes the shame is more insidious. There’s a mean little voice in our head that tells us, “You don’t deserve to feel good in your body. You made this body like this by being greedy and out of control, so now you get to live with it. When you decide to get yourself together and stop stuffing your face every chance you get, then you can feel better. Until then, you ought to feel like trash.” That’s the kind of judgment and shame that went through my head all the time before I lost weight. That little voice is a liar! You get to lose the weight because you want to, not because losing the weight makes you any more worthy than you are RIGHT NOW. When that’s the voice you listen to, you freeze, you wait, you don’t move ahead. That voice is crippling, and it has got to go! You get to choose what you make of this life and you don’t need any self-constructed roadblocks preventing you from creating the life you are called to live. You create the confidence to live the life you’re here to live!

You can lose weight and you don’t have to sacrifice your confidence to do it! If you know you’re ready to move forward and you want help – I’m here! If you want support, guidance, and accountability from someone who’s been there, email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and ask for a time for your free consultation. Let’s get started!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Hello again! We’re working together to count the costs of NOT losing the weight you want to lose. We’ve talked about time, money, and space so far – all things we’re spending without really being aware of it. This week, we’re going to talk about a new cost: Opportunity.

Before we go too far, I want to make a disclaimer: I am not about body-shaming anyone.  You can be in any size body and be happy there – in fact, it’s the best place from which to lose weight! If you are happy where you are in your body and you don’t want to change, then don’t. Societal pressures from advertisements, marketing, movies, and TV are not the reason to lose weight. Putting pressure on yourself to lose weight to fit some sort of societal ideal is just a way of shaming yourself into change. If it worked, I suppose that there would be some kind of value to it. But it doesn’t work.

But you can be loving and supportive of yourself and decide you want to change your body. It’s a choice you get to make. You can decide to lose weight as an act of self-love. You can lose weight simply because you want to. No shame here!

Let’s get back to talking about opportunity.  Those of you in business know all about “opportunity cost”. It’s when you miss out on a chance to do or create something because you choose something else. It’s the cost you pay by with the action you take (or don’t take!).

So what opportunity does it cost you NOT to lose weight?

First, let’s think about what things you aren’t doing because of your weight. Often we won’t allow ourselves to participate in certain activities because we feel too big to enjoy them. Think of any activity in a swimsuit. Kayaking, water slides, white water rafting, not to mention that we don’t want to even shop for that swimsuit! Now, you might not be into any of that anyway. But would you be more likely to consider it if you felt like your weight wouldn’t limit you, if you didn’t think you would tip the canoe or get stuck in the slide?

How about long hikes? Is your knee/hip/back pain from your weight keeping you from enjoying more activity? Can you imagine what it would feel like to be in a lighter, more mobile body? I never wanted to get on my bike because of how I imagined my backside would look from the rearview while I was riding. No bike rides with the kids for me!

Those are just activities. Maybe if you were thinner you wouldn’t want to do any of that anyway – it’s just not your jam. Let’s talk about the second major opportunity cost of NOT losing weight: You don’t get to enjoy living in a body that feels right to you. You deprive yourself of the experience of moving around in comfort and ease. You deny yourself the chance to get out of the heavier body that feels like it’s aging faster than you are inside. You miss out on the feeling of enjoying the clothes you wear, and even the chance to forget about them because they’re not pulling and digging and you aren’t constantly adjusting them so your body doesn’t show in an unfavorable light. You don’t get to enjoy shopping and trying on clothes, looking in the mirror with satisfaction instead of dismay.

Do you remember being free in your body like this?

NOT losing your weight has a lot of opportunity costs. You get to decide if you want to keep paying them! If you’re ready to go forward in losing the weight for good but you want someone to guide you and bring you accountability, I’m here.  Email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and let me know you want to set up a free consultation. Let’s get started creating the body and life you want!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Welcome back! It’s good to be back together here to talk about what matters to us. We’re evaluating the costs of NOT losing the weight we want to lose.  It took me a loooong time – decades, really – to get to the point where I was ready to get myself out of misery and lose the weight for good. All that time, frustrated, critical, sad, fed up, and hopeless, spent on a problem I wasn’t solving!

We looked at the time we’ve spent on NOT solving our weight problem last week. And I meant what I said – you haven’t wasted it. All your experiences can be used as leverage to be successful this time in getting to your goal and staying there. Now, we want to move forward and get that weight off! Counting the costs of NOT moving can help our motivation not to waste any more of our precious resources and get this thing done!

This week, we’re going to talk about money.

Sounds easy, right?

It’s more than you think.

First, we’ll do the easy part. This is the best way to get started and exactly how I help my clients gain momentum. We start with what’s easy to do and gain momentum before we tackle the tough stuff! So, the direct costs of NOT losing weight are all the things you’ve spent money on in the past in the name of weight loss. What powder, meal plan, pill, supplement, prepared meals have you bought to lose weight? Remember the plastic shorts to put on to work out to make you sweat more and lose weight faster? How about Slim Fast? Other meal replacement bars and such? Work out equipment? How much money would you estimate you’ve spent on solving your weight problem? That’s a real question – see if you can make an estimate!

Now – I’d have no problem with spending money on any of this if it worked. But there’s still a huge multi-billion-dollar-a-year diet/supplement/fitness industry because the products don’t work, at least not long term. Your goal isn’t to drop ten pounds to fit into a dress for an event – you want to get this weight off for good and get off the roller coaster of dieting and yo-yo-ing up and down the scale!

All that money you’ve spent – those are direct costs of your weight loss attempts. But there are indirect costs too. The hidden costs of NOT losing weight might be costing you even more money than you’ve spent directly. How many times have you bought clothes you didn’t really want because you had to change sizes? Ever find yourself buying stuff off of Facebook/Amazon/take your pick because you’re frustrated about your weight and you get a little boost from buying something? How much money have you spent on random stuff because you we’re in emotional pain about your weight? Can you calculate that number?

You get to choose how you spend your resources. Your money goes where you decide and you can use it unconsciously or intentionally. Wouldn’t it feel good to know that your money is going exactly where you want to solve what you want?

It might be that until now, you didn’t know that your barrier to permanent weight loss was your own brain. You may just have learned that the way you think needs reprogramming to get to permanent weight loss. That’s ok! You keep learning and training that brain and you will change it!

If you already have decided that this work is for you but you want to move with more purpose and intention than you can alone, I can help you. If you’re ready to invest in coaching to get your brain and body where you want it, email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and let’s set up a free consultation to get you started! But don’t wait – right now my coaching capacity for this class of clients is almost full. If you don’t want to wait until I open up for my next group, get in here and get my last spot!

See you next week!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Welcome back! We’re back counting the costs of NOT moving toward our goal of permanent weight loss. Every decision we make has a cost. If we decide to redecorate our living room, we spend our money buying new furniture. If we start a workout regimen, we spend our sweat equity to move our bodies. 

What does it cost us NOT to move forward?

Seems like the cost would be pretty small. If you’re not doing anything, how pricey can it be? Turns out, the hidden costs are higher than you’d think. This week I want to focus on one of my favorite non-renewable resources:

Time.

Now, your time is valuable. Since we don’t live in a Back To The Future situation, we only get to go one direction in time, and that’s forward. Once time has gone, it’s not coming back. You can’t earn more time! Spending it is the price you pay for anything you do.

We don’t get going on our goal because we don’t want to waste our time working on something that might not work out. Sometimes we think that we don’t have enough time to do what we need to do to be successful. 

Neither of these statements is true.

These are just thoughts.

Let me show you.

If you’re like most people on the weight loss journey, you’ve invested a lot of your resources in getting to the goal. You’ve already done a lot! You’ve bought supplements and programs and workout gear, all without the success you want. You might be feeling weary and hopeless, wondering if weight loss is even possible for you. Maybe doing nothing would at least save money.

Even if you give up on losing weight, you’re spending your time on your weight anyway.

If you want to be in a different body, you’re thinking about your weight. Every time you grimace at yourself in the mirror, berating yourself for how much weight you’ve gained, you’re spending time. When you agonize over what to wear because nothing fits the way you want, you’re spending time. When you comb the web for the latest and greatest new weight loss program, you’re spending time. Even when you’re calculating the time it would take to meal prep or shop or order food on a diet plan and decide NOT to do it because you don’t have time, you’re spending time.

You have the same amount of time as everyone else. We all get the same 24 hours a day. You get to decide how you spend it!

Let me say this: None of the time you’ve invested so far on getting to your weight loss goal is wasted. You have learned a lot about yourself, what works and what doesn’t. You have precious intelligence gathered that you can leverage for your future success, even if you don’t know how to use it yet. You’ve spent countless hours and mental energy on this effort – you’ve been building the framework for the success you want to achieve!

Here’s my recommendation: If you’re going to spend the time on getting to your weight loss goal anyway, do it in a way that supports you through the process. Be kind, be gentle, be compassionate as you find your way. Get help if you need it! But use your precious resource of time intentionally so you can celebrate how you’ve spent it instead of fostering regret. You can choose how to spend your time!

You can do this! But if you’re not sure how to use the resources you’ve gathered over the years and you can’t figure out how to spend your time on weight loss in a way that serves your goal, you’re not alone. But you don’t have to do this alone – I’m here to help! If you’re ready to invest in getting what you want, email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com, and let’s set up your free consultation. Let’s go!

Here’s your video help for the week!

About a month ago I walked into the call room one morning and the TV was on an infomercial for a new exercise program. As I dropped my bag and changed into my scrubs I got drawn into the offer for a stronger body in just a few minutes a day. The testimonials from happy women who’d been able to transform their bodies were compelling. I wanted to be stronger and enjoy a sweaty workout like these smiling women! I even wrote down the name of the program and signed up for the discount to be texted to me. I figured I’d think about incorporating this program into my schedule and deciding how I would pay for it later.

Then I went out into the hospital to see patients.

Yesterday, the same infomercial was on the TV when I left my bag in the call room. It reminded me that weeks had gone by and I hadn’t done anything about that program. To be fair, I had made a decision: I’d do nothing. By not signing up for the program, not making room in my schedule for an intense workout regimen, I’d decided not to create a stronger body.

So what? It doesn’t really matter what decision I make for my body. I can choose to lose or gain weight, exercise or not, eat foods that promote health or don’t. In the end, it’s all a choice. The real question is: What does my choice cost and am I willing to pay?

When I lost weight 15 years ago, being in a lighter body was an unbelievably wonderful feeling. Exercise wasn’t part of my process for weight loss. I needed all my focus to learn how to fuel my body differently, so exercise was not a priority. But over the years, I’ve wondered what it would be like to live in a strong, athletic body. I wasn’t an athlete as a kid, and when I was dancing in high school and college I was overweight, so I’ve never lived in a strong and light body. When I see ads for workout programs or the athletes competing in the Olympics, I envy their strength and ability.

By not doing anything with my exercise regimen, I’ve paid a price. I live in a body that isn’t as powerful as I’d like it to be. I’m missing what it would feel like to have strong arms and legs that can do more than they do now. I don’t get to experience what living in that body would feel like. Months and years are passing by without having what I could have because I haven’t decided to invest the time, energy, and money into changing my body into what I want. I’ve paid with my time.

You’re doing the same thing with your weight loss.

When you don’t decide to do what you can to lose weight, you decide to stay where you are. If you want to be in the body you’re in, it doesn’t cost you anything. But if you want to lose the weight and don’t, what’s it costing you? Over the next few weeks, we’re going to talk about the costs of NOT losing the weight. We’re going to talk about time, money, intimacy, and other costs of not moving toward your goal. I’m going to help you decide whether what you’re paying is worth it.

You don’t have to pay these costs. You can decide at any time to do what you need to do to lose weight and you CAN be successful! You can start today and you don’t have to have anything but your decision to do it. But, you might want help – you don’t have to do it alone!

If you’ve already decided that the costs of not moving ahead are too high and you’re ready to invest in yourself to reach your goal, email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com. We’ll set up your free consultation so you can start losing weight now!

Here’s your video help for the week!