Category Archives: Mind Management

Welcome back! It’s the week before Thanksgiving and I want you to get all the tools you need to keep on your goal of losing weight for the holidays. It is possible!

This week I want to show you how your brain makes the holiday foods irresistible so that you can break the hold they have on you. Now, I’m not saying you can’t have them! But there are specific thoughts you’re thinking that are creating a level of desire for the foods that keep you from being able to decide on purpose what you want to eat and what you can leave behind or save for later.

You know how you used to get your plate for Thanksgiving and pile it so high that it looked like a small mountain? Then you’d eat it all and be so full you’d feel sick and hate life for a few hours until your stomach digested some of it? No more. Not only is that an awful feeling, but it ruins your plan of losing weight the way you want to. That’s your first reminder: Eat when you’re physically hungry and stop when you’re politely full (go back to the intro to this series if you need a refresher!). That means you need to triage – you have to choose which of the foods in front of you that you want to eat instead of piling all of it on your plate. Does the turkey look dry? Skip it. Are the brussels looking amazing? Have those. Macaroni and cheese your favorite? Get some. Feeling kinda meh about the glazed carrots? Leave them.

But what if you want it all? Let’s talk about the main reason why that is and how you can get around your brain’s programming. Let’s start with an example that has nothing to do with holiday food.

Girl Scouts cookies.

Now, there’s no doubt that this company has great marketing and the cookies are fun and nostalgic, but when you really get down to it, they’re just boxed cookies. Seriously, they’re ok, but they’re still just cookies from a box. The main reason why you feel compelled to buy all your favorite and stock up is that they’re offered once a year. The marketing campaign is designed to create a sense of scarcity. So you’re watching the sign-up sheets circle around the office, trying to calculate how many boxes you need to last you – what? Six months? Who knows? Until you feel like you’ve had enough, which as long as you feel the scarcity is NEVER.

The same thing happens during the holidays. You think that you can’t have these foods any time of year so you have to eat them all right now. That’s how you end up stuffed like the turkey, hating how you feel and dreading what the scale is going to tell you. But you can have those foods at other times if you want!

Honeybaked ham is a good example. You wait all year to have a ham with the sugar crust, so you have to have your share and then some, right? But isn’t there a Honeybaked store within driving distance? Surprise – they’re open year-round and you can have ham anytime you want!

How about the special pie Aunt Sally brings to dinner, then one she only makes once a year? You’ve got options. One, ask Aunt Sally for the recipe. She might be thrilled to pass on her legacy and then you can make it any time you want! Or, ask her to bring you a pie to freeze for later. You might just put your slice aside so you can enjoy it when you get hungry again instead of piling it on top of the meal when you’re already full.

Here’s a secret: The best bite of your meal is the first one. When you’re actually physically hungry, your taste buds are turned up to flavor. As you eat, the “volume” gets turned down. So the first few bites are the best. Even if you keep eating (seconds, anyone?), it won’t taste as good as it did at first. The body is trying to turn off the flow of food, so it just won’t work. So slow down and enjoy those first few bites! You could even have dessert first if that’s your favorite (if you can get away with it). You could save the dessert and have it the next time you get hungry – it’ll taste better!

You can enjoy the holiday meals and NOT eat so being stuffed! You get to decide what’s most important and eat what you like. If you really want to lose weight, you can decide to eat differently on your holiday occasions this year. Enjoy the friends and family, enjoy the food, choose to eat when you’re physically hungry, and don’t let your brain hijack your plans!

You can lose weight for the holidays! If you know you want more personalized support and accountability, email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com. Let’s set up your one-hour free private coaching session and get you started toward your goal!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Welcome to week one of Losing Weight For The Holidays! I’m so excited to be on this journey with you – it’s going to be fun!

Last week we started building a vision for how we could be different through this holiday season to create weight loss instead of what feels like the inevitable weight gain into the New Year. Not this time! We get to create a completely different experience of this time of year. And you’re ready for it! This week I want to help you use your brain to your advantage when you’re faced with all the holiday treats that appear around you through the end of the year. Let’s go!

Have you ever had the experience of walking into the break room at work around the holidays, only to encounter a big tray of Christmas cookies? You know – the ones cut into shapes like snowmen and Christmas trees with colorful icing and crunchy sugar decorations from the supermarket? The next thing you know, you’ve got a cookie in your mouth and another in your hand, loaded and ready to be eaten. Then you think, “I don’t even like this kind of cookies – why am I eating these?”

It’s because you listened to your brain.

Here’s what happened. You saw the cookies, your brain said “Cookies – yummy!”, and you agreed with your brain. Now here’s the key – you don’t have to agree with every thought your brain offers you. You think that your brain is in charge, but it’s not: You are. Your brain is just offering you suggestions. You can choose to agree or disagree. In this cookie situation, when your brain said, “Cookies – yummy!”, you could have questioned it. “Will they really be yummy?”

Now, you might think that store-bought Christmas cookies are delicious. But I’m betting that if you really think about it, you know they’re marginal at best. They’re crumbly and kinda dry, and the icing is too sweet and they don’t taste like much other than sugar. So why are you eating them? If what you really want is to lose weight, then why are you bothering with cookies that aren’t even that good?

You have to question your mind.

Your brain is simple. It is on autopilot most of the time. So if you see the cookies, your brain remembers the sugar and suggests that you eat more. You can challenge that suggestion! You don’t have to accept every thought your mind offers up. If you question the suggestion that you eat cookies when you hadn’t planned on it, your brain will pause to think up reasons. That’s when you have a moment to get off of autopilot and think. If what you really want is to watch the scale go down, are the cookies going to be worth giving up what you really want? Will they taste as good as feeling more room in your jeans? Will they taste as good as starting the New Year weighing less than you do now?

Nope. No cookie tastes that good.

‘Tis the season of giving! You’re shopping for gifts for friends and family and while you’re scrolling or walking the aisles, you pick up a little something for you too. I know I do! You’re trying hard to get your special people the gift that they’ll be really happy with, right? Wouldn’t it be the best gift to give yourself what you really want? You can give yourself the gift of losing weight over this season and starting the New Year already on your way toward your weight loss goal.

You can do it! But if you want to work toward your goal with accountability and help, I’m here. Email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and let’s set up your one-hour free consultation. Let me help you get started!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Ready for a new series? Welcome back – I’m glad you’re here! As we enter the holiday season, as you gather and serve and maybe cook and prepare gifts, I thought it would be wonderful if you were able to give yourself the gift of successful weight loss. So through the holiday parties and comfort food and treats, I’m here to help you focus on getting the gift you really want – watching that scale go down!

I know, your brain is like, “Wait, what? Lose weight for the holidays? It’s usually the opposite!” I know! But just because in the past you’ve eaten all the desserts and holiday cookies and stuffed yourself at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners doesn’t mean that it has to be that way this year. And just because in the past you’ve started the New Year with an overeating hangover, regret, and promises to do better doesn’t mean that this time you can’t do this differently. Let me help you imagine…

What if it were possible that you could be around the Halloween candy, all the hors d’oeuvre, and all the family desserts and NOT gain weight? Imagine going into the company Christmas party in your LBD feeling less like a stuffed sausage and more like a rock star because your dress is a little looser than it was before. While you’re there, you enjoy socializing with a few people and the food and drinks aren’t as important as they were in the past. As a matter of fact, you realize that these catered foods aren’t really that great anyway, so they’re easy to skip.

What if you were able to look in the faces of your family this year around the holiday table and feel gratitude to be together again instead of diving into your normally overstuffed plate? What if you didn’t feel compelled to eat all the holiday foods right now? And what if because you were able to do all this, you went into the New Year at a lower number on the scale than you have today?

Sounds a little farfetched? Nope, it’s absolutely in reach for you! And for the next two months, I’m going to be with you as we focus on losing weight for the holidays. We are going to take care of ourselves through this season in a way that leaves no regret, only healthy pride, and confidence. You can be part of all the dinners, parties, and celebrations and not gain the seemingly inevitable holiday weight. And, you can enjoy all of it without overindulging in food. Yes, you can!

Let’s start now! We just came off the seasonal challenge – Halloween! Did you buy bags of candy to give to the trick-or-treaters and now have bowls of leftovers sitting around? What about your kid’s bags of candy? How about your coworkers who are bringing their candy to the office to tempt you to eat it between meetings? What do we do?

First, you don’t have to eat that candy. You can have that candy in cute little minis or snack-sized portions any time of year. Even if it’s not packaged in the same cute Halloween wrappers, it’s the same m&ms, snickers, reese’s, and sweet tarts. You can have it anytime, so you don’t have to have it all now! When there’s no urgency, it’s easier to leave it. 

Second, you don’t have to eat it at all. You can be the one donating the candy to your office. You could (gasp!) throw it away. You don’t have to be the garbage can – better to put it in the can than on your belly, right?

Last, remember what you really want. If you think about it, will any of that candy taste as good as seeing the scale drop and feeling better in your body? I can tell you for certain that nothing tastes as good. When that Halloween candy jumps out begging you to eat it, you can remind yourself what will make you feel better for longer than a piece of candy and leave it in the wrapper.

You can do this! You can focus and finish this year in a way you will be proud of. And if you want help, I have one more spot for private coaching. Once that’s gone, I’m starting a waiting list until some of my current clients graduate out. If you’ve been thinking that having a coach is what you need to get where you want to go, don’t wait! Email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and let’s set up your free consultation – I’m here to help. You can start the New Year differently than you have before. It’s in your reach!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Hello and welcome! I’m glad you’re here. We’re working through the characteristics and qualities you need to get to what you really want, which is permanent weight loss. We’ve been evaluating this for a few weeks, talking about commitment (both to the process and to self) and consistency. This week we’re going in for something else we need to get to our goal weight and stay there.

Resiliency.

Sounds good, right? Resilience seems like a positive quality we should cultivate in our lives. So why don’t we have it? Let me describe it another way. Resilience is the willingness to fail.

Welp, that doesn’t sound so good, does it?

Nope, not here to fail. Aren’t we supposed to be doing things that make us successful? Stay with me. Resilience is crucial to your success. If you have no tolerance for failure, you will be limited in what you can create for yourself. Let me give you an example.

Think about an infant who’s learning to walk. In the beginning, he doesn’t do it well. Every time he gets up and tries to take a step, he falls down. If that were the end of the story, you’d have 16-year-olds hanging out in a bouncy seat! But they keep trying and getting better until all of a sudden they’ve got it and are tearing around the house as fast as their little legs can carry them. Little kids are MUCH better at resilience than we are.

If we weren’t willing to fail, we’d never learn to ride a bike, or roller skate, or read a book, all things we learned how to do when we were young.

Now, we think that because we’re our mature adult selves that failure isn’t for us. We think that we’ll look foolish if we try something new and it doesn’t work. Or we think that failure in the new thing is the end of the story or that the failure somehow defines us. So we don’t try the new thing and we fail in advance.

This unwillingness to fail is what keeps you in diet mentality. That’s familiar territory – never mind that it hasn’t gotten you to your goal. The concept of trying something new seems risky. What if it doesn’t work? What if you tried coaching and you didn’t get all your weight off? You might lose time and money. You could keep doing what you’ve been doing and get the same results. You could try something different and you might learn something. It’s entirely possible that you’d experience what it feels like to live in the body you want without struggling so hard to stay on a diet. You could actually change your whole life! But your fear of failure is keeping you from ever finding out what’s possible…

Resilience is required for permanent weight loss. You will change and grow and learn the more you are unafraid to fail. We had resilience when we were kids, but somewhere in the process of becoming an adult, we lost it. But you can get it back! It takes practice and commitment, but you are able to build your resilience.

I’m here to help!

If you want support and accountability, someone who will guide you through the process of creating the permanent weight loss you want for yourself, email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com. We will set up a free one-hour consultation and get you started on the path to achieving your own permanent weight loss!

Don’t wait though. I’ve only got one slot left for one-on-one coaching. Once it’s full, you’ll have to wait until I graduate out some clients before we can work together. I’d love to help you find the success that my clients are experiencing! Let’s get what you want together!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Welcome back! Here we are, getting into the topic that we already know we need and yet don’t follow in our goal of permanent weight loss. This week we’re talking about consistency.

I know, you’re already shaking your head. You already know that your inconsistency with your food is the problem! We’re on-plan, then off-plan. We just go from one thing to the next playing find-the-magical-diet that we just haven’t found yet. So how do we solve it? Let’s look deeper.

First, magical diet thinking is exactly that – magical thinking. We think there’s one diet that if we could just find it, would completely transform our bodies and the weight would just fall off. We think we have a metabolism problem or a deficiency that we can supplement our way out of. So we try one rachet diet after another, thinking that the next one is going to be THE one. We keep doing it because it feels good – not the failing on the diet part, but the hope for the new diet to transform our lives. Hope feels good! The problem is that we’re hoping for something that isn’t going to work because there is no one diet that will solve our weight problem for us.

But we keep trying diet after diet, even though we have no intention of continuing it forever. Have you ever watched a friend or coworker try a plan and lose weight and think that maybe that’s the plan for you, even though you hate packaged meals and bars (or whatever they’re doing)? So you think you’ll do it to get the weight off and then you’ll figure out how to maintain your weight loss when you get there. Except you don’t, because the way you get there is how you stay there. Every diet works for someone, as long as they stay on the diet. But no one really wants to live on a diet, so we constantly pop on and off the diet – and we never get to permanent weight loss.

The second problem is that we cheat. Let’s say you decided to be plant-based in your eating plan. You love veggies and salads and it’s not too much to stop eating meat – you have ALL the reasons for why you don’t need meat in your plan. All set, right? Until you go to the tailgate and someone is serving hot wings and they look good! So you decide that one wing won’t hurt, right? Yes, it will. Not because one wing will upset your whole eating plan, because it won’t. But your on-the-fly exception making will definitely derail your program. The mentality that tells you, “One doughnut won’t matter” is the same little voice that has you violate your plan over and over until you aren’t really on any kind of plan at all. That’s why you have to stay consistent with your plan!

Maybe you know consistency is a problem, but you just don’t know how to be consistent. Maybe you need help developing your plan so you can stay on it. It may be that you really want someone to help you stay accountable for the plan you make so you actually do it. You don’t have to figure it out alone – I can help! This is exactly the kind of result I help my clients create when we work together – we develop a plan, we work the plan, and we create commitment, consistency, and ease in staying on the plan created just for you. Permanent weight loss can be for you!

If you want to work with me, email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com. Don’t wait – I only have one slot left! If you want this for yourself, it is available to you. Let’s set up your free session and get you started now!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Welcome back! I’m so glad you’re here with me to get the essential elements for your successful permanent weight loss. Last week we talked about the first absolute requirement for permanent weight loss – commitment. Commitment to the process of weight loss is crucial because long-term permanent weight loss isn’t a straight line to success. We have to be ready to accept the challenges and setbacks as part of the process. If we’re committed, then we keep going, no matter what!

This week we’re talking about a different kind of commitment that we need to get to our goal. For many of us, this commitment is harder. Not being able to find this kind of commitment is what keeps my clients from staying on their chosen plan. It’s what’s keeping some of you from scheduling your consultation with me, even though you want to do it! It’s the lack of this kind of commitment that derails you, even when you’ve already made a plan and are successfully losing weight.

You have to have commitment to yourself.

We struggle with this one. As women, we are socialized from birth to be givers. As little girls, we’re told to “play nice” and take care of others. We’re taught to put others’ needs above our own. It’s usually us taking care of aging parents and shouldering the bulk of childcare responsibilities. We do most of the cooking, cleaning, washing, planning, packing, and shopping. We do for everyone else out of service and care and love.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Loving and caring for others, serving our families and friends and coworkers is part of a godly life. It’s a good thing to give and serve!

But…

When we give to the exclusion of caring for ourselves, we aren’t able to give our best. When we run on caffeine and fumes, we don’t really have as much of ourselves to give. Certainly, we don’t have enough left to plan a nourishing meal for ourselves. We chronically fall to the bottom of our to-do list, while all the needs of others leap to the top. We fall prey to the tyranny of the urgent.

I know because I’ve done it. I watch my patients do it. My friends do it.

My mom did it.

I’ve justified it as my caring for others being part of the gift of being a mom or wife or daughter. And yet, how is having a mom who’s so tired and harried that she doesn’t have time for a snuggle give the best of me to my kids? If I forget that I matter too, then I do all the service for others out of obligation instead of love. No rest, eating protein bars on the commute, not taking a moment to read or relax means you never fill up your own tank. Believe it or not, you have needs too, Superwoman! Taking care of everyone else except you leaves less to offer to those you love.

The training of service to others is powerful. We feel like we’re doing something good when we serve, and we are! We lean hard on Phil 2:3 which says we must look not only to our own interests but also to the interests of others. This is true – but did you see that it doesn’t say to ignore your own needs? There has to be a balance. Even the scriptures remind us that we are to take care of ourselves. 1 Cor 3:16-17 says our body is a temple for God’s Spirit and we are to care for it. Eph 5:29 acknowledges it’s normal to feed and care for our own bodies. 1 Cor 10:31 says we are to eat and drink to the glory of God. Do we consider our self-care and feeding as an act of worship and obedience? Can you see losing your weight as honoring God?

We have very full lives! Carving out space for yourself in this one wonderful life you have is good and right and necessary. You have to have a commitment to yourself to be able to get to the permanent weight loss you want. You might agree with me but just don’t know how you’ll get it done. Maybe you need help. One way you can begin is by scheduling a consultation with me – it’s one hour that you can devote to caring for your needs.  Email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and we’ll get you started. You can do this – I’m here to help!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Welcome back! We’re starting a new series on What Really Matters For Permanent Weight Loss and I’m really glad you’re here. This is the first week of the series and I’m so excited to share these essential elements that you must have to get to your goal and stay there – let’s get started!

If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent an incredible amount of time, energy, effort, and resources to lose weight. You’ve bought the shakes and hired a trainer and taken the pills and followed the plans. You’ve bought premade meals and spent hours in the kitchen doing food prep. So when I say that in order to succeed at permanent weight loss you have to have commitment, you figure you already have that. I mean, look at all the effort and work you’ve put in already!

The commitment I’m talking about is different. Investing in a program and following it for two months or two weeks is one kind of work.  I don’t downplay any of your efforts to this point – you’ve been working hard! The kind of commitment I’m talking about this week is a commitment to the process. It’s different than cutting carbs for 6 weeks and then falling off because it’s Thanksgiving. This is more than working a plan until it seems like it’s not working anymore and then taking a week or month off from trying to get to your goal.

This commitment lasts regardless of whether the scale goes down or not. When you’re truly committed to the process, you’re going forward no matter what the scale says or whether you see quick progress or not. You are moving toward your goal even if the scale seems stuck or you’re inching down slower than you want. If the scale jumps up a pound or two after you go out to eat, you don’t throw out the plan – you attribute the gain to water weight or the wine with dinner or the dessert you shared, and you know that you will lose it over the next few days while you follow your plan. No matter what, you’re going to keep it pushing – you’re going to do what it takes to figure this out!

Staying committed doesn’t have to be hard or painful. It’s not a never-ending marathon! The kind of commitment I’m talking about doesn’t involve whipping yourself into staying on your plan! I’m talking about a steady, supportive resolve that keeps you moving forward when in the past you’d have thrown up your hands and eaten a sleeve of cookies. That loving, solid commitment to yourself is a skill you learn while you lose weight if you build it through the process. It may not be something you’ve ever seen before and might sound totally unfamiliar. But that rock-solid commitment is exactly what you need to get to and stay at your goal. It’s what I help my clients create for themselves and you can have it too!

You can do this! If you’ve been a serial dieter, this might sound completely foreign. You might want to develop that supportive commitment but just don’t know how to do it. You may want help – someone to guide, trouble-shoot, and hold you accountable as you create this new reality for yourself. I’m here to help! Email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and let’s set up your consultation, a free one-hour session that’s totally devoted to helping you find the vision and inspiration you need to get your weight loss journey on track. You’re smart and you can do hard things, but you don’t have to figure this out alone!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Hey – welcome back! It’s so good to have you here for this last episode in our series on the costs of NOT losing the weight. Today we’re going to talk about the loss of intimacy that we experience when we live in a body that’s heavier than we want. I know you’re thinking this is going to be all about sex – but it’s so much more than that. Keep reading…

First, though, let’s get to the easy part: What about sex? Yes, that’s part of the cost. If you don’t feel good in your body as you walk around in your daily life, it’s not very likely that you’re going to feel free and uninhibited in your intimate physical life. Especially when you’re with someone else and you take your clothes off, you’re not likely to let that be the situation where you radically transform and feel great in your body. You might, but chances are that’s not how it’s going down. You may limit what you’ll try with your spouse because you’re preoccupied with thinking about what your body looks like without clothes. That’s a loss…

But it’s not the only one. There’s an even deeper level of intimacy that you’re sacrificing, and that’s the one with yourself. Let me show you what I mean.

Most of us have battled our weight problem for years. We’ve tried diet after diet, new exercise programs, supplements, and pills and none of them have worked for permanent weight loss. But in the midst of that struggle, there’s a narrative going on in the back of your brain that says, “I just can’t do this. I just can’t lose this weight.” Then whatever we try to lose weight is doomed to fail.

Even worse than that is the erosion of trust we have with ourselves. We know deep down that the reason most of these diets and programs haven’t worked is that we’ve cheated on them or gave up on them.  At some point, we decided we didn’t like the diet, it was too hard, we slowed or stopped losing weight and we stopped following the plan. We know that we sabotaged ourselves and that we are the cause of our own failure.

That’s where the true loss of intimacy happens.

When we break promises to ourselves over and over, we start to believe that we can’t really trust ourselves. The connection, the bond between who we are today and who we were in the past is connected. If we believe that who we are today is someone who doesn’t keep promises to ourselves, then we don’t make decisions that we will honor today either. We don’t believe that we can and are making decisions around our weight that should be trusted. So, we break the promises we make around losing weight, we sabotage our plan, we tell ourselves today that it won’t matter tomorrow. And we don’t lose weight and we gain more.

But the real loss is the connection we have within ourselves, the intimacy of knowing that we can trust ourselves. We lose out on knowing that no matter what, we have our own back. We miss out on building closeness and intimacy within ourselves. That’s a pretty high cost to pay!

You don’t have to keep paying it though. This is one of the things I work on with my clients – how to learn to trust themselves again, to make decisions and honor them, to know that weight loss is possible for them. Then they prove themselves right! It’s one of the things that I love most about coaching – watching my clients regain trust in themselves as they lose their weight for good!

You can do it! If you want to get help to get to your weight loss goal and build back your intimacy with yourself, email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com to schedule your consultation.  I can help you create permanent weight loss and get the life you really want!

Here’s your video help for the week!