Category Archives: Help Getting It Done

NOCOMMENTS

Help Getting It Done, Mind Management, Top 15 Weight Loss Posts

Trusting Your Mind

I’m 2 1/2 weeks away from my board exam in Orlando. Y’all, I got out the index cards last night to make some flash cards – I’m in full study mode now!

It’s so different going through exam prep with a job and family than it was when I was single. Part of the reason why I did my graduate degrees together was because I doubted that I’d ever go back to school. I still don’t think I’d do it full time – but even so, in the past few years I finished my holistic nutrition program certification, now I’m getting a second medical board certification, and I’m planning for another big educational move in 2020. Education never stops!

This brings me to what I want to talk about this week: Trusting Your Mind. I’ve been feeling pressed and busy, trying to get the normal life things done (shopping, cooking, picking up and laundry), while at the same time trying to study, get the kids ready for Halloween and make my plans for 2020. It’s keeping my mind in overdrive! That’s not really a great space to be in, at least not for me. When I’m juggling a lot, I can feel productive because I’m checking off a bunch of tasks, but my brain is racing around coming up with more to dos. The problem comes when I want to slow down and my mind won’t cooperate. I lay down to sleep, and my brain starts running through my to-do list. I get up to meditate and it’s hard to be still. I thought that maybe this was a good sign that I’m ramping up to meet the tasks ahead. It’s actually not. Let me tell you why.

When I get into hyper mode, trying to get a bunch of things done, what I feel is anxious. I worry that I’m going to miss something important or make a mistake that I can’t recover from. So I push harder, move faster, fill up the hours of the day tighter so that nothing bad will happen. The regular things I do to make space in my brain, like keeping a list of things to do or journaling all my thoughts are good things and are helpful in slowing the worry. But there’s another tool I’ve found that solves problems and makes space.

Give your mind work to do.

What? Wait – didn’t I just say that my mind is too busy and full and I need more space? Yes I did. Let me explain. Much of the time, the mind is constantly scanning for the errors and threats so that you find them and address them before they become a problem. When the mind finds these threats, it offers them up to you as thoughts you need to deal with. Most of the time, we accept these thoughts as fact, usually because we’ve thought them before and believe they’re true. For example, when you have an invitation to a potluck, your thought might be, “Great. Now I have to go shopping again and cook something and I already didn’t have time to do dinner for the rest of the week.” (I usually have this reaction to potlucks. I recognize this is a little negative.) And we accept that as fact – we didn’t have a plan for dinner this week and this is another thing to do, so that must mean this is a problem. But you don’t have to accept every thought your mind offers you. You could choose to think that you enjoy potlucks and that’s one dinner you don’t have to do all the cooking and clean up.

And there’s another option.

You can put your mind to work. Instead of letting your brain race around like an unsupervised two year old, you can give it tasks to accomplish. What if instead of accepting the thought that the potluck is another to-do that you don’t have time for, you asked your brain a question. How can I get this potluck dish done with what I have at home? How can I make an easy contribution to the potluck? You give your brain an assignment. You don’t start with the answer, because if you did, your brain has nothing to do. Your mind will offer up thoughts – that’s what it does. But you can help it be constructive by giving it things to work on. You will be amazed at how often it will find a solution that you like!

I’ve been practicing this recently. It can be a little tricky, because my tendency is to want the answer immediately. So if I don’t have an instant solution to a problem, I’m tempted to worry until I do. And my mind just races in circles reminding me that I have a problem, that I don’t have a solution, and terrible things are going to happen if I don’t fix it! But when I ask my mind to work on the problem by asking it to be constructive (usually a How question), it comes up with a solution, usually faster than I thought it would. Last night, my husband was talking about taking our youngest to the eye doctor for her appointment. When he mentioned that this was the longer appointment with the dilating eye drops and waiting for hours, I mentioned that she’d probably need a snack and an activity to be packed up (which I knew was something I’d need to do in the morning before she left). My brain immediately went, “What are you gonna pack? You were going to catch up on sleep from being on call, and now you have to get up early to pack her bag? Why does this always happen last minute?” I watched my brain start to spin out on me, and then I stepped in. Calmly, I asked my brain to think up a good snack idea for her, keeping in mind her allergies, and what we have in the house. I wrote it down and closed my eyes, figuring that by morning by brain would have a plan. In the next instant, my brain said, “There are some gluten and nut-free snacks you put in the bowl in the bottom of the pantry for these last-minute situations.” Oh yeah, I forgot about those. Thanks, brain – good job. Problem solved!

Your mind wants to be useful. It will offer up thoughts and ideas that are your most commonly practiced thoughts because that’s most efficient and easy. But you don’t have to accept them. You also can practice new ways to use your mind that are productive and keep it busy working instead of offering you worrying thoughts. The first step is to be aware of the thoughts you’re having and ask if they are helpful. If not, you might want to practice thinking in ways that do serve you. We’ll have to go into that in another post! The second step is to give your mind assignments instead of letting it worry. Write your lists, journal your worries, pray more than anything. But don’t let your mind race around unsupervised – put it to work! It’ll come through for you!

Do you find yourself overwhelmed by your anxious thoughts? Try giving your mind problems to solve and share what you experience in the comments below!

2COMMENTS

Help Getting It Done

Down To The Wire

Y’all. It’s the end of the line. Time has almost run out.

My board certification exam is next month, on October 31st (I’m not sure who decided it was a good idea to have an exam on a kid’s holiday, but that’s when it is). Somehow, I had gotten into my head that I was supposed to bring the proof of the coursework I’d done with me to the exam. However, the proof actually has to be uploaded for review 30 days prior to the test, which means I’m out of time. The documents are due Monday. So I’m pretty much out of time.

But thousands of dollars and MANY hours of work later, not finishing is not an option. So I’ve been hustling – up early working on the education hours, working through lunch, cutting out every possible free or recreational moment I hadn’t already committed to being part of (and some that I had).

I also restarted some bad habits along the way. Isn’t is funny how when you get pressed by a deadline, you fall back into doing what worked in the past, even if it wasn’t all that good for you and you paid for it later? Well, I found a new plant based creamer I liked and started having a cup of coffee every morning. I pulled out my trusty old percolator, bought some regular coffee and started adding it to the decaf I had been having occasionally. And I’m telling you, that hot creamy morning comfort made me feel like all was good in the morning, even though I had that little voice in the back of my head that said the coffee was only going to help me for a little while. I knew that after awhile, it wouldn’t give me that little jump start in the morning and I’d start feeling sluggish when I woke up, like I needed coffee to start the day.

Then that occasional glass of wine in the evening started to seem like a good idea every night. I mean, I was working hard, so a friendly glass of wine before I got back into the grind for the evening hours was a nice reset, right? Even though I tried to ignore her, that little voice piped right up to remind me that one small glass for stress starts to look like a big glass is better, then a little extra splash after the first glass, then maybe here or there two glasses is okay and then all of a sudden it’s a habit that I never planned on in the first place. For a lot of people, a glass of wine a day isn’t a big deal. But for me, with the family history I have, a habit of any substance (wine, coffee or otherwise) isn’t a good idea. So when I see myself sliding into habitual anything, I have to put on the brakes, quickly!

Besides, when I get on the roller coaster of caffeine and alcohol, even though it’s not a lot, my body does not like it. At all. After a couple of weeks of doing this (all in the name of getting the work done of course!), I started feeling off. I started retaining water like crazy, a really good sign that I’m inflamed. My rings got tight and the scale started jumping up. My pants started leaving marks around my calves where they were touching. Even though I was going to bed close to the right time for me, I didn’t feel so great when the alarm went off in the morning. When my PMS (which is generally mild to nonexistent) was so uncomfortable I could hardly hug my kiddos because of the tenderness, I knew I’d done enough damage. Time for a reset!

As soon as I decided to get back on track, my mind started arguing with me. Have you ever noticed that when you want to do something good for yourself that might be hard, your mind wants to offer up all the reasons why you shouldn’t do it? My mind wanted me to know that this was probably just hormones and it would be over soon, that the coffee in the mornings tasted really good, that a glass of wine once or twice a week isn’t a big deal (even though that wasn’t what I was doing), and eating more raw and alkaline was going to be a lot of work and i really didn’t have the time to do all that right now. And if I thought that I had time for walking a labyrinth or any other way to keep my spiritual practice strong, well I had another think coming because I just didn’t have time for all that right now, not if I was going to get the work done. I’m exhausted just writing out that stream of consciousness. But my busy mind does this. All. The. Time. It feels like a full time job trying to manage my mind!

The truth is, my mind isn’t wrong. I do have a ton of work to do, and my experience from years of school and exams says that massive effort is required to be successful. My mind is just offering up the files from that past as evidence of what worked. But I have newer files that aren’t as used to being accessed and I have to remind my mind of the newer way of thinking. Not easy, but necessary. I plan to get the work done and be peaceful through the process, so I’m going to have to do this differently. So I reminded myself that I have other options, and made plans for other ways to manage my stress and still get the work done. Here’s what I’m doing:

Eat raw.

I’m not doing a full raw vegan diet this week, but I can eat mostly salads and water. Even if I don’t have time to do the full raw meal prep, I can rip open and toss premade salads. I had a watermelon in the frig that needed to get eaten, so I made a watermelon-lime-mint juice and had that instead of coffee. Eating raw immediately moves my body away from the inflammation and starts dumping the excess fluid, which always makes me feel better. So maybe it’s not the hard core purist approach – but it’ll do for now.

Yoga

When I get crazy like this, I need my mind and body connected more than ever. But exercising is usually the first thing I let slide. Then my right hip starts to get tight, my neck starts hurting, and I don’t feel as good in my skin. When I looked back, it had been weeks since I’d done yoga because I’d been taking short walks with puppy Riley for her training. The fresh air was good for my mind, but it wasn’t enough for my body. Walks alone work well for me, but walks with the puppy are for her, at least until she gets better at walking on the leash. So I found a 15 minute yoga stretch class on my yoga website and started doing that in the mornings. That’s been better than the coffee!

Thought Management

Meditation in the morning has been my routine for awhile. But recently it’s been more and more that my mind is cloudy and unruly during my meditation time, and while I knew something was off, I hadn’t done anything about it. Last week, I started back listening to a podcast called Weight Loss for Busy Physicians which talks mostly about mind management. The topic of using thought downloads as the primary way to manage the thoughts in our heads kept coming up over and over. So I finally decided to try it, which meant immediately my mind told me a bunch of reasons why I couldn’t do it. But I’m wise to that approach, so I just started asking my mind to find ways that it could work. When I gave her constructive work, she actually came through! I started taking five minutes in the mornings to write down all the junk that was swirling around in my head and worrying me. Even though I haven’t spent as much time unpacking it as I’d like, just emptying out my mind has been calming. I can see the thought errors more clearly. And there’s more space for what I need to focus on getting done!

How do you manage when you’re under the gun? How do you take care of you and still get the work done? Please share in the comments below!

And please pray for me, you wonderful ladies. By the next post, the requirements will have been submitted and the last few weeks of exam prep will be upon me!

NOCOMMENTS

Help Getting It Done, Mind Management

Taking A Break

It’s a holiday weekend, y’all!

Every time I have a holiday weekend, I get so excited, because I look at the three days and think: Look at all this time I have to spend however I want! Almost every time at the end of the weekend, I’m still tired, all the tasks I planned to accomplish aren’t done, and I don’t know why. I’m a very good time keeper, so I can account for where the time went, but somehow the weekend just didn’t measure up to my expectations.

It’s disappointing, right? I almost feel like I’ve wasted the three day weekend in some way – like I wasn’t a very good steward of my time. So I chastise myself for missing this opportunity to catch up and promise myself that next time I’ll be more organized and use the time more carefully.

Not this time.

If you’ve been reading the past couple of posts, you know that the Parks family has been experiencing some turbulence. To be more accurate, Perry and I have been juggling more chaos than normal. And when I was running so hard at the hospital the other night that I’d logged 20 phone calls in the first hour and a half of my night and realized I was starving at 11 pm because I’d missed dinner, I knew I’d better take a break or I’d start to break down myself (catch a cold, have a bad headache, toss and turn at night because I’m worried about everything that has to be done). So when I saw that this weekend was a long one, I started right down that same thought pattern that I’d calm the chaos and catch up. That always sounds good in my head! But I’m learning, and when my brain reminded me of how that’s turned out in the past I decided that I was going to do this weekend differently.

The first I decided was to have no agenda. After I finish the to-dos that I’ve committed to (writing this post, grocery shopping for the third time this week, finishing a learning module for my exam in October, wash the sheets), I’m done. No laundry, no medical charting, no big activities (Perry is trying to plan a marathon lunch/skate/pizza day on Sunday, but I think he needs a break as much as I do, so we’ll see). My to-do list for the weekend looks more like a wish list of relaxing activities: Sit by the lake, read my library books, maybe get in a last swim before they close the pool.

Does that sound impossible? There’s so much to do, it feels like I ought to take the opportunity to get something done! Clean something, write something, organize something. But I’m not going to do it. Here’s how I’m going to resist the temptation and actually take a break. I also struggle with the idea that rest = lazy. If I’m resting, then I’m not working as hard as I can and should, and someone else will suffer because I was resting when I should have been working. That’s nonsense, of course. No human is designed to work constantly without a break. Even our bodies are created with the need for sleep, not to mention the space and clarity that rest gives our minds. But old patterns of thinking die hard – but it’s my goal this weekend to chip away at that mentality!

My chair set up by the little lake in our neighborhood – it’s a mini getaway!

I started with talking to the kids. They are one excuse I can use to miss my break. I can use their messiness and need to eat as a reason to spend my whole time at home trying to pick up and keep after them to keep the house manageable. I can spend each day working from meal to meal, trying to create different foods and cleaning up in between and the whole day all of a sudden is gone. So I talked to them and let them know that they have some responsibility on how the weekend goes. I’m going to have things here in the house to have “fun” meals, but they will be part of making those happen. Otherwise, it’ll be almond butter and jelly and whatever they can scrounge up for dinner. If they want me to help them do something a little fun and different, they’ll keep their stuff under control. The difference this time is, if they don’t, then I won’t do the extra stuff.

Then, I spent this week catching up at work and at home. I did extra laundry, caught up on work email (as much as that’s possible), and cleaned up as much of my patient results as was possible. But the most important decision was to leave room to rest. If I plan the whole weekend out, in the end I’ll just run from thing to thing and feel exhausted, raggedy and frustrated at the end of the weekend when I have to go back to work. I also am not going to leave the time completely free, because lack of any planning leads to disorder. Something will suck up the rest time if I have no plan for it. So there will be time to sleep, time to read, time to sit at the lake.

Some of my literary selections…

You may be reading this and thinking that it’s all very well for me to take a break, but you just can’t do it. And maybe you can’t take the whole weekend off. But can you set aside a morning or even a few hours to do something that helps you feel rested? Only you know the answer. Here’s what I know: There is always something that needs to be done, and I often assign urgency to those things that isn’t necessary. Do I have to do everything that needs doing right now? Nope – I just think I do. So I can think differently and act differently. I’ve heard it said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different result. So here’s to less insanity and more rest this weekend. Happy Labor Day weekend!

Do you have a hard time taking a break for rest? How are you going to spend your holiday weekend? Please share in the comments below!

NOCOMMENTS

Help Getting It Done, Recipes

Fat Free Dal Tadka

Ever since our family started on this plant based eating plan, I’ve been fooling around with recipes, trying to find some staples that work in our regular meal rotation. It hasn’t been easy.

You notice I’m not saying we are eating a vegan diet? That’s on purpose. A vegan diet can be very healthy, but it doesn’t have to be. You can absolutely be a junk food vegan! And for me, even if I eat non-animal foods, if I move into processed food land, I can put on weight at a speed that is truly remarkable!

So I’m trying as best as I can to stick to a whole foods, plant based, low fat (for me) eating style. The kids don’t need the low fat part, but that’s easy to adjust for them. But a plant based recipe that has great flavor, is low fat, and doesn’t have a page long list of ingredients – now that’s been a challenge. The Black Lentil chili recipe is a good one. And I’ve found another lentil recipe that is basically a dump-and-stir, after you chop an onion and a tomato.

I like lentils. They’re high in protein (one answer for non-vegans who want to know where you get protein on a plant based diet), low in fat, have lots of complex carbohydrates and fiber, and provide folate (especially good in pregnancy) and magnesium. They’re also delicious! I happen to love Indian food, but if you’ve ever tried to make a traditional Indian food recipe, there are a thousand spices in each recipe. That’s probably why it’s so good! But I don’t know how to do that kind of cooking quickly and easily, so I need a quicker option. Also, Indian food uses a lot of oil (usually ghee – not vegan), and since I’m following more of a Forks Over Knives plant-based plan, I wanted a low fat option. I also really like this recipe because all the heat is in the onion topping. I like fiery food, but my youngest does not, so this is a meal I can make for the family and enjoy without having to add hot sauce (which is what I usually do). This one comes from Fat Free Vegan, and I loved it!

Here are some short cuts for this recipe. First, use a pressure cooker (you know I love my Instant Pot!). You can do this on the stove top, but you’ll need at least 30-45 minutes for the peas to soften, so use the pressure cooker if you’re trying to make this fast. Second, get pre-prepped garlic and ginger. Yes, the fresh is delicious, but this is almost as good and is so much faster. Also, you need a garam masala spice blend, so make sure you have this before you start. Let’s get cooking!

This recipe doubles easily if you want to freeze some for another day.

Ingredients

1/2 cup split red lentils (masoor dal)

1/2 cup yellow moong dal (splint mung beans) or yellow split peas (I used this), or another 1/2 of the red lentils

3 cups water

1 large tomato, chopped

1/2 onion chopped, 1/2 onion sliced

3 cloves garlic, minced (or 3 teaspoons of garlic paste

1 teaspoon fresh ginger root, minced (or one teaspoon ginger paste)

1 teaspoon cumin seeds

1/2 teaspoon turmeric

1/2 teaspoon salt (or to taste)

1/2 teaspoon garam masala (or more to taste

1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (or to taste!)

Put the lentils and peas, water, tomato, chopped onion, ginger, garlic, cumin seeds, turmeric, and salt in the pressure cooker and cook on high pressure for 10 minutes. If you’re cooking on the stovetop, bring to a boil, then cook on low covered for at least 30 minutes until then lentils are soft, stirring frequently and adding more water if needed. In the pressure cooker, let the pressure release naturally for ten minutes, then quick release.

While the lentils are cooking, put the sliced onions in a dry skillet and cook, stirring often until they begin to brown. Fat Free Vegan recommended a nonstick pan, but I don’t use coated pans, so I used my dry cast iron skillet and they browned nicely. Add the red pepper flakes and cook until the onions are soft and a little browned at the edges.

Check the lentils to be sure they’re soft and cooked through. Then add the garam masala and stir vigorously to make the lentils creamy. Add water if it’s too thick. Adjust your seasonings (add salt or more garam masala). Serve over rice and top with the onions. A side salad would be good here, especially if you made the onions spicy. Enjoy!

10COMMENTS

Help Getting It Done, Mind Management

Feeling Overwhelmed

It just doesn’t make sense. It’s been a good week both with the kids and their homeschool and at work. Even the hospital was extra reasonable! I’m going on a tropical vacation for a few days, the back to school shopping is done (for now), and there are lots of groceries in the house. So why am I feeling so crazy?

Sometimes I feel like I just run from one urgent situation to another, and whatever screams the loudest gets my attention. Squeaky wheel and all that, I guess. But the problem is that in the background, the quiet things are slowly building up until they become the next fire to put out. Good example: Even though I got the groceries, the school supplies (and ordered what I couldn’t find in the store), had the workbooks spiral bound and covered at Kinko’s, and got the car washed, I also know that my son has no long pants other than his sweats that fit. In the back of my mind, I’m quite sure that even though I haven’t taken inventory (because I know what I’ll find out), the other kids are going to need school clothes and shoes. And even though I bought two bunches of bananas two days ago, there’s only one left. I’m teaching on meditation tonight at church (shouldn’t I be peaceful first?) and my lesson needs to be written down. The storage closet in the basement is trashed, and who’s gonna have to get that reorganized? There’s more, but really, I’m getting anxious just writing this.

Who’s gonna clean that up? Oh, right…

And then last night, my husband said something that just set me off. He went to Costco (for which I’m very grateful!) and came home with all the stuff on the list. I was braiding my oldest’s hair when he got back, so the other kids helped put away the supplies. When I saw him later, he was aggravated about a part of the backyard fence that fell down (again!), and he mentioned that the freezers were too full to put the food he bought in easily and it was irritating to him. You know what that meant to me? That meant I needed to clean out the freezers. Why? Because I manage the procurement and storage of food. Not that he can’t – it’s just my job. And since we went plant based and no one is particularly interested in the meats anymore, my freezers are too full of food that no one is eating. And here’s the thing: I knew it was a problem. But I hadn’t gotten around to it because of all the other more urgent issues. I probably should have just taken note of the situation and put “clean the freezers out” on a list somewhere, but I got mad. I felt criticized and overwhelmed, and my go-to emotion that is most familiar and comfortable is self-righteous anger. Now, I didn’t fly off the handle (this time), but I left the room and went to my closet alone to pack without saying anything. At the moment, that was the best thing (so I didn’t say something ugly), but in the end I spent the evening by myself packing when I’d rather have enjoyed the first night of my time away from work hanging out with him.

Ready to go in the suitcase…

So what do you do when you feel crazy and overwhelmed? It’s tough, and there are many ways to cope. Some people drink, some watch TV or escape into sleep, some run as hard as they can until the list is done, even if that means less sleep that they need and sacrificing any fun and relaxation (guilty!). But here’s what we forget: We get done what we need to, not because we are so organized or amazing, but because we are provided for. I got the shopping done because God gave me the means (time and money) to get when was needed. The instructions I needed for school preparation came at the right time, and I was able to get copies of the maps and the workbooks spiral bound because I knew where I could get it done fast and had the time to go. There are weeks that there wouldn’t have been an opportunity, or I’d have been running out when the kids went to bed. But I didn’t because God moved things into the place they needed to be. So even if I hadn’t anticipated having to address this set of situations this week, He knew I would need to, and he made it all come together.

So instead of staying overwhelmed and frustrated, I went back to what works every time – getting connected and grateful. Meditation was first – listening for God’s voice was what I really needed to move through the day. Sometimes my idea of what has to happen today isn’t really what needs to happen. Sometimes I make myself crazy with my own assignments, when God doesn’t expect me to do everything I think is important. Then I wrote a bunch of things I thought of to be thankful for in my gratitude journal. I also sat down and got some work done, and I’ll add the less urgent to-dos to a list. But I will continue to remember that I’m in the right moment right now for what needs to be done, to talk to the people I’m near, to be in the place I find myself right now. Because this is where and when God has me, it’s not a mistake. God sends the resources and the time windows to get it all done. My only real task is to accept the assignments as they come, and pray to see what I’m sent as the gifts that they are meant to be.

Gratitude is the antidote to overwhelm. When I feel overloaded, counting my blessings is what helps me to see all the good and gifts in my life. So I’ll keep practicing!

What about you? How do you deal with feeling overwhelmed? Please share in the comments below!

NOCOMMENTS

Blog, Help Getting It Done, Inspirations

How To Take a Solo Retreat

The concept of a solo retreat seems a little strange to many people I talk to. The strong introvert and overwhelmed mom are quick to embrace the idea, but others look at me with a question in their eyes. Why would you go away alone? What do you do? The next question that comes most often is how: How do you manage to leave everything and be by yourself for days? (This one usually comes from the moms). So I thought I’d explain how and why I do these retreats, so that you might be able to find the space and time for the benefits of a solo retreat for yourself.

Over the past few years, I’ve been learning more about rest and energy. Since my tendency and training is to run at top speed until I fall asleep at night, I’ve been trying to figure out what rest is for me. The first clue came in a book I read called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain. She talks about (among other things), the need introverts have for silence and time alone to recharge their energy. Now, I love talking and singing and people and doing, and I am not a shy introvert, but I definitely lose energy when I spend lots of time with people. I need time alone to bring my energy (and attitude!) back up. That book really helped me understand my need for solitude and to feel good about carving out time for quiet. Then a good friend of mine published a book about spiritual lessons she’s learned over the years during her meditations in silence. When her son was in school, she set aside time for meditation and silence so she could better connect with God and hear his direction. This sounded like a great idea to me, but between work and the fact that my kids are schooled at home, there weren’t any days where I could have silence and be in my house. The third thing that happened was my husband scheduled a boys trip. He just decided with his friends, put it on the calendar, and let me know the plan. Now, I’d been waiting for years to schedule a girls trip, and had been putting it off “until the kids were old enough”. Apparently, the kids were old enough. So I decided that I’d need to set aside time if I was going to take it. It wasn’t just going to appear, like a gift. Scheduling a girl’s trip takes a lot of coordination. But a solo retreat? It takes some planning, but not as much.

First step: Get it on the calendar. Schedule vacation days, make it a long weekend, whatever. I don’t recommend using a holiday weekend (everyone else is doing that), so you’ll have fewer options for where to stay, and prices will be higher. This isn’t a mini-vacation, it’s a retreat, so schedule it at a time that doesn’t fit in anyone else’s calendar. You must get the dates first – the rest of your plan becomes real when there are dates on it.

Next, get your support lined up. Can your husband cover your days away? Do you need a babysitter for some of the time? Rides around activities or church? Gather your replacements and get them committed. You will have an easier time on this if you plan in advance. I plan my retreats about three months ahead of time.

Now it gets fun. Start looking for a place to stay. AirBnB makes this easy. I’ve driven to Asheville (3 hour drive for me), and I’ve done a stay 25 minutes from my house at a little lake community. Decide what you want: Do you like driving and are you willing to spend half of your first and last retreat days driving? Is it important to you to be in a particular location, like the beach or the mountains? How much money do you have to spend? If you have to fly and pay for lodging in an expensive place, that increases your costs considerably. What kind of environment do you want when you’re there? I wanted to be outside but I’m a mosquito magnet, so I wanted a screened-in porch where I could write and read. I also wanted to be near water, so I picked a spot with a small lake within walking distance. Spend a little time creating a vision of what you’ll want to feel while you’re away – you don’t want to be stuck alone in a house or room that isn’t nourishing to you. You’ll notice everything without kids and life to distract you, so craft this part of the plan carefully. You probably won’t be running around going on activities (you can, but it’s more restful to have as little as possible on your schedule – don’t trade your everyday crazy schedule for an away solo schedule!). So where you stay matters – choose carefully.

The screened-in porch and my peaceful place…

Now the best part: What do you want to do while you’re there? Sleep? Read? Meditate and pray? You don’t have to plan all the details, but knowing what you want to get out of your time away will help you pack. My most recent retreat was supposed to be a girl’s weekend, but when it fell through, I decided to make it a solo retreat. So this time, I didn’t do exactly what I’m encouraging you to do! But, I wasn’t going far, I was driving and could pack up my car with whatever I wanted, and I was open to what God had planned for the time, so I didn’t have any expectations, other than to sleep until I felt like getting up, and to go out in my car as few times as possible (I planned to walk the neighborhood and maybe swim or sit by the lake, but no errands).

Staying parked right here

Then, you pack. I packed food (a bagged salad, a kale salad, a vegan noodle meal, a container of lentil soup, some cherries and tortillas for salad wraps). If you don’t take food, you’ll need to pick up groceries at the beginning of the retreat on your way into your destination, or you’re going to spend time running around trying to feed yourself. If you want to order in, that’s fine, but I find it most restful to have food sitting in the frig that I can eat with very little fuss when I get hungry. I don’t have to think about it much, and since I’m not feeding anyone else, I’m on no one else’s hunger schedule. The first full day of my retreat, other than a cup of coffee and a few cashews around 1030 am, I didn’t think about food until after 2 pm. It’s funny how the cues to eat are triggered by situations (lunch break at work) or other people (the kids!). Maybe it’s a new diet…

The rest of the packing is light. Take clothes you’ll want to hang around in all day, really comfy stuff. If you think you’ll go out, pack a nicer outfit and your makeup, but mostly lounge clothes, pjs, a warm sweater (I love to snuggle on the couch and I don’t like being cold), and something to pin up your hair. Then I packed a big bag of books (some for fun and some for spiritual growth), my journals, my bible, and my laptop for writing my post. I also packed my yoga mat and meditation stool, my bluetooth speaker, my swimsuit, and my face pillow and earplugs.

My face pillow, cozy sweater, blanket, and essential oils…

Then comes the hardest part: Go. Kiss the kids and your honey and leave. You’ll be tempted to check in, accomplish some to-dos on your phone apps, and your mind will come up with tons of stuff to do. Fight it. Turn off the ringer and the notifications on your phone. You’ll also be tempted to fill up the quiet with the TV and/or books, and if that’s what you planned, fine. Otherwise, make an intentional effort to sit in the quiet and experience the space. That’s why you’re there! If you keep at it, your mind will downshift and you will slow down. You need it. Your kids need you to rest and come back better than you were when you left. If you use the time you’ve set aside, you’ll come back with a rested body, a peaceful mind, and a grateful spirit for the time you had off and the life you’re returning to. Now go plan your retreat!

Have you ever taken or wanted to take a solo retreat? If you did, what did it do for you? What would you like a retreat to do for you? Please share in the comments below!

1COMMENTS

Help Getting It Done, Recipes

Black Lentil Chili

Yes, it’s 95 degrees outside and I’m writing a post on chili! I know, that seems totally out of season. And it is, but since our family became plant based, this recipe has become a staple. This is a recipe that when I make it, no one misses the meat – and for chili, that’s saying a lot!

Lentils are a great source of protein, the highest of all the legumes. They contain lots of iron and calcium, and because of all the fiber and antioxidants in lentils, they are great for heart health. They’re also quick cooking, colorful, and delicious! They’re also inexpensive, so in addition to being a great alternative to meat dishes, they’re also a cheaper option. This recipe is made with no added fat, so it meets the criteria of a Forks Over Knives meal – plant based, whole foods, and low fat, promoting healing and reversing heart disease and diabetes. This chili is made from two kinds of lentils, black caviar and red. The black lentils are the texture, and the red ones break down to give thickness to the pot. The genius who created this recipe (Susan Voisin of blog.fatfreevegan.com) put this recipe together in an Instant Pot, one of my favorite appliances. But, it can be done on the stove top, it’ll just take a little longer. Either way, it’s worth it. We’ve had it with cornbread, over tortilla chips as nachos, stuffed in a potato, and with a side salad. It’s delicious and filling and I think I’m gonna make a double recipe next time!

Ingredients

1 large onion, chopped

1 large bell pepper, chopped, any color (yellow is pretty)

1 tablespoon garlic puree (or 6 cloves fresh garlic, minced)

1 tablespoon chili powder

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1 teaspoon oregano (mexican if you have it – I didn’t)

1 teaspoon smoked paprika

1/2 teaspoon chipotle powder (more if you like more heat)

1 cup black beluga lentils, rinsed and picked over

1/4 cup split red lentils, rinsed and picked over

1 quart box (4 cups) of vegetable broth

1 16 oz can of fire roasted tomatoes

1 teaspoon coconut aminos (you can use soy sauce or tamari, but they have higher sodium)

1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar

1 teaspoon salt (optional, or to taste)

Instructions

First, prep your veggies and spices. Once you chop the onion and pepper, rinse the lentils, and measure the spices, the rest is almost a dump-and-stir recipe.

Saute your onions in the Instant Pot first for a few minutes until they begin to brown (same on the stovetop). Then add the peppers and garlic for a couple of minutes. Add a little water if they stick.

Add the lentils and the dry spices and cook for another minute or so. Add the tomatoes and veggie broth, stir, and lock the lid in place (if you’re cooking on the stove, put a lid on the pot and cook for up to 30 minutes, until the lentils are soft). Pressure cook on high for 10 minutes, then allow a natural release for at least 10 minutes. If you can’t get back to the pot that fast, it’s ok – I’ve left it for 45 minutes past the cooking time and it’s been fine. If you’re in a hurry, quick release the pressure after the 10 minutes.

Add the vinegar and coconut aminos and salt if you need it (I didn’t, and I like salt). I might have put an extra dash of the coconut aminos though). If the chili is too thick, add more broth or water.

Serve with fresh cilantro (my favorite!) or parsley and enjoy!

What’s a staple recipe in your family dinner rotation? Do you have a meal that’s always a winner? Please share in the comments below!

NOCOMMENTS

Help Getting It Done, Inspirations

Getting Out of The Trap

I get it now. I fell into the vegan junk food trap too…

When I came back from the plant based disease conference, I’d been eating raw and vegan for a week. I had already dropped 3-4 pounds and felt pretty good about that! But what was really exciting was that at the conference I’d been eating rice and beans and quinoa and even some grain-free bread and not gained weight. It had been a while since I ate very many carbs. I’d been eating more low carb, thinking that it would help me stop that slow upward creep of weight that so often happens to women in their 40’s. It wasn’t really working.

So when I started eating rice and bread again, I was thrilled. I love rice! When I was young, my mom used to say I should have been born into an Asian family because of how much rice I ate. And really, who doesn’t love bread? When I started feeling justified in eating more carbs because that meant I wasn’t eating animal foods that damage the environment, that’s when things started to go downhill. My kids are young and need more carbs to grow, so there were lots of opportunities to “taste” their meals now that I wasn’t avoiding bread and rice and potatoes. Everyone in the family was supportive of eating plant based, so I started cooking more meals centered around beans or rice or potatoes to make sure they got full. When we started trying vegan restaurants around the Atlanta area and I started eating soy buffalo wings and vegan potstickers, things really started going off the rails.

Now, I don’t mean I gained a bunch of weight or ate a loaf of bread in one sitting. But things weren’t right. I started saying yes to all the foods I’d normally limit, like cookies and chocolates. My weight started fluctuating and my rings were tight. I’d decided to ignore the fact that just because something was vegan, it wasn’t automatically good for me.

Now, of course I already knew this. I’ve said to patients before that eating vegan doesn’t make you healthy – you can eat candy bars, potato chips, gummy bears and soda and officially be eating vegan. The key is to eat a whole foods, plant based diet, and while that’s a lot more words than the label “vegan”, it’s a much better description of how to eat well. Let’s break it down…

Not whole foods…

First, whole foods are minimally processed, which means while you may cut it up, season it and cook it, the food you’re eating started as one ingredient (broccoli, potato, carrot, spinach). And while chicken, eggs, pork chops and steak are single ingredient foods, they don’t meet the criteria of plant based, so they’re out (or at least very limited). This is where I went awry – the more processed plant foods had crept into my eating and I got sucked in. It’s easy to do – processed foods have more sugar, salt, and fat, which seduces your taste buds into wanting more. Then when you have the choice between a baked potato and a salad vs soy buffalo wings, the wings win. Your mouth doesn’t want the salad and it’s hard to make yourself eat it. The other problem is convenience. Processed foods (vegan or not) are often easier to prepare quickly, so when you’re hungry and can rip open a box of frozen burritos, you do that instead of baking and chopping and mixing. Cooking takes time, and it’s not something everyone loves to do. These days it’s more common to watch people cook on TV or at an open kitchen at a nice restaurant than to cook for yourself at home.

But to me, cooking is an act of love. When we take the time to prepare a meal from whole foods, we are choosing to invest our time and energy in caring for ourselves and anyone we feed. It’s not that if we feed the kids some nuggets and tater tots for dinner that we don’t love them, but we could choose to cut up veggies and make oven fries and give them food that has the love of our hands in it. When I prepare my food from whole ingredients, I’m putting my energy and love into my food, and telling myself that my body and my health are worth the effort – that I’m worth the effort. It makes a difference.

The whole foods I’m making today…

So, I need a reset. The good news is I know what to do: The bad news is I want to eat more bread and potstickers. But I have a plan! Conveniently I’m going to be working at the hospital this weekend, and there aren’t a lot of healthy and vegan options for meals (isn’t that sad – shouldn’t a hospital have the healthiest food?). So I’m going to have to travel with food, and that means I’m cooking. It’s actually not as hard as your brain is telling you it is. Here’s what I’m going to do:

Pray first. I can’t make everything I need to do work out the best way without God’s help. So I’m asking and listening for the best way to go.

Make a salad. This is an easy foundation for any meal. I cut up all the veggies (or buy them chopped), throw them on top of different greens (romaine, mixed baby greens, spinach), and store them undressed in a container or zip top bag in the frig. Then when it’s time to eat, you’ve got half your plate already made!

Best bagged salad ever!

Bake some sweet potatoes. That’s easy, and they’ll sit in the fridge ready to be heated and topped whenever you need a meal.

Grill a mix of veggies. I like to grill onions, peppers, zucchini and mushrooms. Drizzle them with a little balsamic and maybe a touch of olive oil and that goes with everything!

Have a plan. I also might want something hot with my salad, and if the potato or grilled veggies isn’t going to work for me, I have to have a backup plan. Besides, sometimes you want to change things up. So, some actual cooking may have to take place. This is where some time investment comes in, but if you cook when you have time, make extra, and freeze it, then you have more meals for when you need something fast. Right now, I’ve got a frozen bag of black lentil chili that’s coming out for the weekend! Sometimes, a quick stir fry with extra firm tofu is in order. If you give it some thought and write down your meal ideas, then when your tummy rumbles and your mind goes blank, you don’t have to rip open the bag of frozen wings – you’ve got options that honor your body, your spirit, and your commitment to yourself.

Defrosting some black lentil chili and chard quinoa I made last week…

Remember your why. I wrote about this in a different post, but you’ve got to have a reason why you’re eating differently that keeps you going when your will power or craving threaten to take you over. Whether it’s health, or weight, or the environment, or animal cruelty, or all of the above, you keep reminding yourself why you’re putting this time and energy in, and it makes it easier to stay on track and keep going!

I know that the struggle is real. No one just gets up one day and does everything perfectly – that’s called a fairy tale! But every day is a chance for a fresh start, and I’m grateful for that. Now, I’ve gotta go – I’ve got some grilling and baking to do!

What do you do to get yourself out of the trap of eating poorly? Do you have a way to get yourself reset when you get off track? Please share in the comments below!

NOCOMMENTS

Help Getting It Done, Mind Management

Finding Your Why

We had an interesting discussion at dinner the other night.

After I came home from the Plant-Based conference, I decided that I wanted to try to move our family toward eating plant-based instead of doing it alone. Now, while I’d read a book or articles, do research and look up expert opinions, I knew the best tactic in our house to jump-start this discussion was to do what would make the biggest splash: We’d have to look at a screen. We may be a family of readers, but this time drastic measures had to be taken. I mean, I wanted something to happen now, not in a few weeks after everyone had read a book that I recommended. Besides, my six year old needed to come along too and the books I have are a little above her comprehension level. Nope, a screen would be the best approach.

So we sat down as a family and watched Forks Over Knives on Netflix. Now, I already knew about the health benefits of plant based eating, but seeing it on a screen and seeing patients who radically changed their health prognosis was powerful. Even with all the amazing stories and information in the movie, it was after it was over that the most shocking thing happened. My husband looked over at me and said, ” OK, I’m on board.” I almost fell off the couch! My husband has never considered even trying to be vegetarian, much less eating vegan. Even though he’s in good health, he knows his family medical history, and the health benefits really are that compelling. The kids jumped in with their support too. So I got busy figuring out what we’d eat that week.

In the background, I was working my master plan. See, I know the health benefits and I agree with the need to eat a whole foods, plant based diet, but I also know that it can be really hard to stick to a healthy eating plan, especially if you’re feeling well and have no medical problems. No, I needed to light other fires that would keep us convinced when we started to waver.

Fortunately, God was helping me out. When the kids went to the library, my twin girl saw a book that she knew I’d like and brought it home. It was called Food Is The Solution, and the first 60-70 pages are all about the environmental impact of animal agriculture. It’s incredibly powerful – the graphics, essays, and stories shared will move you. When I shared that the foreword was written by James Cameron (director of Avatar, Titanic and others), Perry got interested. The kids passed it around and took turns reading. I talked about it at work. And since Forks Over Knives was so successful, I looked for more documentaries to watch. This time we started watching Cowspiracy, which emphasizes the environmental impact of animal agriculture and what forces are at play to prevent the public from becoming educated about it. It was maddening – but also galvanizing.

It’s been weeks since our family has eaten any animal foods except a few things that were left over in the freezer. And when I’ve suggested that we eat some meat that is in the frig, the kids have wanted to know why. They want a good reason to go against their commitment, and I’m so proud of their integrity! My husband has started making his own veggie sandwiches for lunch instead of ordering out. He’s lost 10 lbs and feels full and healthy. I feel good (even with a mild head cold I picked up yesterday), and even more, I feel inspired and strong.

Buffalo chickpea quesadilla with vegan sour cream – so good!

Everyone needs their own why to make change. For some people, it takes a health threat to do it. Sometimes, the ethical reasons are the reason. For others, that the environment we live in needs saving is the compelling why. There are also people like me for whom all the reasons matter. I want to live a healthy life and not live a slow, painful decline on multiple medications. I also want to restore and care for this earth we are responsible for. The ethics matter to me too: I can’t eat a piece of chicken knowing that the ammonia dust from chicken waste is poisoning poor communities who can’t stop the spread of chicken houses being built in their backyards. I can’t live with the thought that my demand for eggs and chicken drives worsening health for communities full of people, many who look like me. I can’t eat pork knowing the horrific conditions the pigs live under for the duration of their lives (same for most chickens and cattle). I don’t want my desire for a steak to contribute to the growing dead zones in the oceans and pollution in our waters. I’d rather eat grains and fruits and veggies. I know there is environmental impact from the mass production of any food – but by far the heaviest impact is coming from animal food. With 7 billion people of the planet (and heading toward 9 billion), we can’t keep eating such a meat heavy diet and think we’ll never run out of our natural resources. We already are. And for those of us in the US, we are the number one users of these resources. As people who have a powerful sense of self determination, ingenuity, and creativity, I think we can do better.

This is true for any change we want to make, diet or otherwise. Change is hard! We are creatures of habit, and changing habits takes a lot of effort and momentum. Do you want to start exercising, develop a meditation practice, eat more plants, or get more sleep? Without a reason, we generally just fall back into our normal routines – it”s just human nature. But we can choose to change if we have good motivation, and that takes finding a compelling why for making the change. It doesn’t have to be a good reason for everyone: It just has to be one for you.

Have you thought about eating a whole foods, plant based diet? What’s your why? Or why not? Please share in the comments below!

4COMMENTS

Help Getting It Done, Inspirations

What Are We Going To Do?

I’m struggling over here…

I thought I could say that it all started with the plant based prevention of disease conference two weekends ago. But I don’t think that’s true. I signed up for the conference to get my required in-person continuing medical education credits I need to sit for the American Board of Lifestyle Medicine exam this fall. And I knew in advance it would be all about plant based living, but I started to get an inkling that there was more coming when I got an email requesting that I bring my own reusable cup, plate, and utensils in an effort to achieve zero waste during the conference meals. Now, I’ve been recycling and conserving water and trying to reduce my eco-footprint for years, so I got on board and packed a plate and flatware.

The beginning of the conference was a challenge. The first few lectures had the tone of a vegan infomercial. Honestly, one of the reasons I have never called myself a vegan (even when I was eating that way) is because of the way that some people who wear the title confer judgement on those who do not. Now, I’m not saying everyone who eats vegan is the same as an ethical vegan, nor is there anything wrong with being an ethical vegan. But in a room full of health professionals and experts, I was irritated that the conference started with a tone of superiority and “of course a vegan diet is the best for all humans”. Now, that concept is up for discussion, but learning more about Plant Based prevention of disease was the point of the conference. Having to wade through judgement just pissed me off. I think this may be why many people resist eating vegan. In order to get to the place where you are willing to evaluate what you’re doing and consider changing, you need to feel acceptance and consideration. Feeling judged (in anything) just makes people resistant – which means they don’t even consider changing, even if it really is a good idea.

As the conference progressed, there were some excellent lectures on the scientific evidence behind a whole foods, plant based diet, the ethical and racial implications of eating this way, and the environmental impact of eating animal foods. This is where things started to get sticky for me. I’ve been eating mostly plants for awhile, but since I’ve also been eating low carb, it’s been easier to get my protein from eggs or meat. I also haven’t tried to feed my family a plant based diet – I’d buy as much organic and local as possible and sometimes skip the meat myself. I knew about the industrial meat industry, the animal cruelty and unsanitary conditions that contribute to food contamination and recalls of both plant and animal foods. I stopped eating at chain restaurants that didn’t serve local farmed meat.

What I didn’t know was about the UN statement on climate change released last year that said that if we don’t do something to reverse the effects of climate change, then the process of climate change may be irreversible by 2030. I’ve noticed the milder winters in the south, the short spring seasons, the ridiculous amounts of pollen production that rise every year. We’ve all heard about the melting of the polar ice caps and rising sea levels, the wild fires out west and the severe blizzards in the north, the flooding from severe storms, and most recently, the tornados.

I also didn’t know that much of the devastation of the Amazon rain forest (arguably the lungs of our planet and the source of many unique plant compounds that have medicinal uses) is due to clear cutting the forest to plant crops for livestock feed. I didn’t know that because the demand for chicken is so high, the mega chicken corporations are buying up massive plots of land to build the chicken houses that hold tens of thousands of birds in one place. I didn’t know that those chicken silos are strategically located in poor, predominantly black and brown communities who don’t have the voice or the power to stop them from being built. I also didn’t know that the people who live nearby the chicken houses and the manure lagoons from the pig and cow waste production are suffering from respiratory illnesses, poor air quality (other stuff), not to mention loss of their land value. Because really, who wants to live around the constant stench of animal waste?

To add to my concerns about health risks of animal foods, the threats to poor communities, and the environmental destruction caused by production of animal food, I’ve been reading a book called For The Beauty of the Earth: A Christian Vision for Creation Care. This book is about what the bible says about our role in caring for the earth, and when I add this to the understanding that animal food production is destroying the creation, I can’t just do what I’ve been doing. Something is going to have to change.

I haven’t had any animal foods for about a month, and when I came back from the conference I started talking to my family about what I was learning. We’ve been watching some of the documentaries together and they wanted to try eating plant based. So we ate plant based throughout the Memorial Day weekend, and everyone enjoyed the food and is making suggestions for swapping out plants for their favorite animal foods.

One of our plant based meals!

By the end of the conference I was convinced that yes, the health effects of a whole foods, plant based diet are clear. We all need to eat more plants and A LOT less meat, if any at all. If you have heart disease of risk factors for it (that’s a whole lot of us), if you’re African American or Latino, a whole foods plant based diet may be the diet that is healthiest. It is the one that has the medical data to support reversal of cardiovascular disease. The whole foods plant based low fat diet is the one with long term health data. If you’d like the quick look at the data, watch Forks Over Knives – you’ll get some of the info I’m talking about. The best lecture of the conference was by Dr Kim Allan Williams, the past president of the American College of Cardiologists. He’s African American, a cardiologist, an expert in his field of heart disease, and is also a vegan.

Now before the keto or paleo people come after me, remember: I’m not telling anyone what to do or to eat. I am personally evaluating what I’m doing, both for my family’s health and for the good of our communities and for the planet. There isn’t good long term health data for meat based diets – we just don’t have it yet. There also isn’t good info on differences in food quality – what if you eat organic, or get backyard chicken eggs, or get your meat from a local farmer instead of the supermarket? What about people who essentially ate organic their whole lives before we had that label and lived until they were in their 90’s? It’s hard to sort out, and nutrition science is young. But there’s no doubt that the production of animal foods is the biggest contributor to environmental destruction. We are eating ourselves out of the health of the planet we live in. If the UN statement on climate change is correct, then my kids will just be in their 20’s when climate change can no longer be stopped. Then what will we do?

The whole thing is overwhelming. It’s enough to make me want to throw up my hands, stay on autopilot, and be in denial about the mess we’re in. But a quote from Margaret Mead keeps coming to my mind: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” And there is hope! People everywhere are recognizing that a plant based diet is beneficial and are eating less meat,eggs and dairy, and if more of us do this, change can happen! As a mom, a doctor, and a concerned citizen, I want to do the best I can for the health of my family and our communities. For me, that means recycling, trying to eliminate the use of plastics, and eating mostly plants. We’re transitioning – I’m not just dumping out my deep freezer. But if I had heart disease or diabetes, I probably would do exactly that.

And as a Christian, I’m convinced that I am responsible for caring for the earth, not just taking from it, and since I think the biggest thing our family can do now to change our impact on the earth is to change the way we eat, then as Joshua said in Josh 24:15 “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” And since I buy and cook most of the food, I have a lot of sway, especially in my house. So, I’m voting with my food dollar, buying lots of veggies, and feeling good about the change. I’m still not calling myself vegan though. Plant based, yes. But I’m still listening to my body, and if it comes up that I need an egg or a piece of meat, then I’ll listen. But I suspect that it won’t be just a craving, it’ll be a true need, and likely rare. If people everywhere ate meat only occasionally or as a condiment, that would greatly reduce our impact on the earth. And we can all live with that!

Have you ever thought about your eating style and its effect on the earth? What do you want to do next? Please share in the comments below!

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