Category Archives: Blog

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Look Up!

Man! Ever feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders?

Maybe I’m just complaining because I’m used to it. I probably ought to get back to counting my blessings, suck it up, and just get grateful. It could be so much worse. Other people have it worse than I do, right? Does any of this sound familiar? You know, there are times I can talk myself out of a funk or do an exercise, or even smack my brain around a little and change my attitude. It works. Sometimes.

What I really need to do when I get like that is sit down, write down some of my thoughts and work through the funkiness. Writing the thoughts down is like venting to a friend, but even better because you can say absolutely anything you want, and you also can’t be interrupted! The downside is that it takes a little time. Writing a few things on my grateful list is good too, and that only takes a minute, maybe two. And if I’m really pressed for time, I can do that exercise I described in this post two weeks ago – just doing the breathing only takes a few seconds!

Now, I want to make sure that I acknowledge the truth here. One great thing about humans is our resilience and ability to press on through adversity. But sometimes I think that means we downplay the struggle we are facing, especially when that challenge is daunting and not easily fixed. Like a global pandemic maybe? How about centuries of racial inequity that has just resurfaced in the consciousness of your home country? No matter how well you are coping with any or all of the things going on right now, the weight of constantly managing your thoughts and feeling can get heavy after a while. Personally, I can start to feel this bone-weary exhaustion, this fatigue that sleep just doesn’t seem to help.

I’ve got another way for you to get a little space, a little lightness in your spirit. For this one, you’ve got to go outside. Now, getting out is almost foolproof in changing my attitude – just breathing the air for a few minutes can lift my mood. But there’s another aspect to it that I’ve noticed is really helpful at changing my perspective.

Look up.

Have you ever noticed that between sitting at your computer, walking around your house, running errands, even exercising that you rarely (if ever!) look up? You might look out in front of you and you’ll catch the view of the sky in your wider view, but when’s the last time you really looked up at the sky? I’d bet not very recently. I mean, you can’t do it while you’re walking because you’d trip. So you’d have to stop what you were doing and take a moment to be still. Can’t remember doing it? You should give it a try – you might like it.

Here’s what happened when I stopped to look up. I was sitting on my yoga bolster for my morning meditation time when I opened my eyes for a moment. I looked out through the top of the window, and from my vantage point from the floor, I saw one of the last few bright stars in the faint morning dawn. The contrast of the star against the pale blue, framed by the dark leaves of the trees in my backyard was breathtaking. It gave me a minute to get out of my own head, with all the noisy thoughts busily marching through (interrupting my meditation!) and just admire what was right outside my window. I went to my back steps and took this picture to show you…

See the star?

Remember I said that I find that being outside helps my attitude? Well, I’ve started making a conscious effort to spend more time in my backyard. Going on walks has always been great for a mental boost, but sometimes I just want to relax in the fresh air. I really had avoided the backyard because I’m a mosquito magnet, but after I went on my birthday retreat and felt how good being in the trees felt to my soul, I knew I had to find a more easily accessible spot. I mean, I can’t just pop off on a retreat whenever I want, right? Actually, yes I can. I set up my swing chair under the tree in our back yard, and with the canopy of the tree hanging over me and the neighbor’s bushes in front of me, it’s almost like I’m in my own little green escape. And then I lean back and look up. It’s magical…

The view from my swing chair…

Whether you have a beautiful green space in your backyard or not, you can find beauty and space in looking up. No matter where you are, in the city or suburb or country, the sky has something to watch. Cloud formations, the brewing of a storm, twinkling stars, expansive blue – there’s something about awesome and calming about the sky. Take a moment and look up!

When’s the last time you looked up at the sky for more than a second or two? What do you see when you look up now? Please share in the comments below!

And here’s the link for this week’s new Weight Loss: Going Deeper series – we’re going to practice Feeling Fullness. So if you find yourself eating until you’re stuffed and miserable and don’t know why you just did that to yourself, come through!

5COMMENTS

Blog, Inspirations

Putting The Pieces Together

Y’all. Have you seen Hamilton?!

Maybe I’m a little late to the party, but we just saw Hamilton when it was released on Disney Plus last week. Ever since we watched it, our house has been rocking to the soundtrack and my kids are shooting out Hamilton memes in their Hangouts groups. Now, we’d listened to some of the soundtrack before and loved the music and history lessons and style, but I didn’t understand the hype until we watched it.

Before we went on vacation (I know, how did we go on vacation? More on that later…) I’d seen the promos for the release on July 3rd. I was so excited! On July 1st while I was sitting on the beach scrolling through my phone, I saw a reminder for the show. I told the whole family about it and the kids were hyped up, ready to watch it together on Friday. It was incredible! I’d heard the live tickets were $1000 – now I see why.

If you haven’t seen it, you’ve probably heard about it. But in case you haven’t, the story is a musical about the life of Alexander Hamilton and his contributions to the founding of the United States. But the story is told in rap, spoken word, song, and using a cast comprised of mostly people of color. It’s powerful. But there’s one scene that keeps coming up in my mind over and over. This isn’t a spoiler – this story is history so there’s no secret, and what I’m going to write won’t ruin the show if you haven’t seen it. But if you’re one of those people who don’t like to know ANY of the story before you see it, skip down a paragraph…

The oldest Schuyler sister is giving the toast at the wedding reception of her middle sister to Hamilton when she has a flashback moment of when she met Hamilton herself and passed him off to her (also) eligible sister. She sings about how she sees the possible outcomes of the situation and why even though she wants him, there are multiple reasons why she must decide not to pursue a romance with him. She’s incredibly insightful, quick, smart, and strong. I think she’s my favorite character in the story!

But there are very few moments when I see future events unfolding in my life with the clarity she had at that moment. I try to stay in step with the Spirit and listen so I can act as He has planned, but a lot of the insights I have seem to be in hindsight. Have you ever noticed that? When I look back, that’s when I can see how things worked out. After the solution to the problem comes, that’s when I understand why the challenge was needed. It’s when I reflect back over time that I can see how God was moving all the pieces of my life around just the way they needed to be.

It was on vacation when I started seeing this pattern. The puzzle I’d ordered finally came and I brought it to put together in case it rained, which being on a beach it did one of the days. Let me explain the vacation though. You know I’m very serious about the reality of COVID-19 and I’ve been extremely careful and taken every precaution since the beginning to keep me and my family protected. So how did I go on a beach vacation in the midst of the pandemic? Very, very carefully. I had specific criteria for what kind of accommodations I was looking for and exactly what location I would accept. It had to be a single-family house on the beach so we could walk directly out to the sand and back in the house without being around other people. There had to be very little chance we’d be near other families, so I chose a place that had a little strip of sand in front of a row of a few well-spaced private homes. The house was cleaned before we arrive and I wiped the entire house with disinfecting wipes and aired out the house before I allowed the family in the door. Everyone can’t do what we did because there aren’t enough houses for rent in the world for everyone to do their summer vacation this way. But I found one that worked, so we went. We stopped once for gas and a potty break along the way (wearing our masks), packed lunch in the car from home, and carried all our food for the week away. We didn’t eat out, we didn’t go on any excursions, and we didn’t spend time with anyone outside of our family. We spent time together on the semi-private beach and in the house. And we drove home the same way.

This was our beach.

Back to the puzzle. I never did puzzles as a kid – just hated all of them. No Rubik’s cube, no flat puzzles, none of it. But I saw this beautiful African queen puzzle and I just fell in love. And the thought that this would be a wholesome family activity made me click “buy”. So here’s this 1000 piece puzzle and it’s raining this one day on vacation, so why not? I’m telling you, I didn’t really want to do it. But I laid it out and my husband got involved and we started finding the edge pieces. It started coming together, very slowly. After a few hours of consistent effort, we had half of the edges done.

Once we got the border done, I rolled it up in the puzzle mat and it traveled back home with us. I laid it open on the dining room table and little by little we worked at it. My husband and I sat up for a few nights in a row, looking for patterns and moving around the table changing our perspective to make it fit together. The more we sat there, the more the pieces started coming together. There was something about putting one piece after another together that all of a sudden, the next steps became clear. And I started thinking about my life. I remember when I wasn’t sure I’d ever get the change to get married. I remember wanting babies and not being sure if I’d have any. When I look back, it’s so clear how God moved all the pieces into place to create this family of six that I couldn’t imagine back then.

I’m in that place again where I can’t see how things are going to come together. I kinda thought by now I’d be on autopilot – career – check. Husband – check. Kids – check. Just show up and do my best every day and we’ll all grow, right? Apparently not! I’m building a coaching business because I’ve been called to use my life, my medical background, my holistic nutrition education, and my love for women to help women lose weight. And I don’t know anything about being an entrepreneur – nothing! But I know that the pieces are coming together. I’m going to have those moments of frustration – like when I just swear one of the kids has lost the one piece I need to get the next part of the puzzle done! And then I find it, and usually, it was right there all along. So here I go, building this new puzzle in my life. And I’m grateful that I know God has built many in my life before, and He’ll do it again!

Do you have a new puzzle in your life that needs work? How are you encouraging yourself to keep building, even when it’s hard? Please share in the comments below!

And, I need five volunteer clients to do a 20-30 minute coaching session with me to help me finish my certification requirements – comment below if you’re interested and I’ll set up a free session with you!

And for those of you who need to find a way to catch your breath, here a quick practice I put together that you can do anytime! Don’t worry – if you’re following the weight loss Going Deeper series, we’ll be back to it next week, so stay ready!

NOCOMMENTS

Blog, Mind Management

Take A Moment

For those of you who read last week’s post, you know a lot has been happening for our family. If you didn’t read it, let me catch you up…

A little over a week ago, my son was called nigger while riding his bike in our neighborhood. And while we received a lot of support and love from many both in our neighborhood, our family and friends, and in our social networks, a lot of restorative work had to be done to help our children navigate the ugly reality of the situation. We did it and continue to do it. Yet still, we have to go to work, we’re all living through this pandemic, and we must navigate the realities of the racial climate everywhere we go – work, grocery shopping, online. Never mind that we have normal life to live too! It can be exhausting, overwhelming, terribly tiring.

But it doesn’t have to be. And no, I’m not going to give you some kumbaya hopeful thoughts to try to switch your brain out of feeling tired and overwhelmed. There are ways to change our thinking, and being in charge of our brains is one of the most powerful skills we can develop. We can choose our thoughts and change how we feel and engage with our world, and that’s what I teach in my coaching practice.

But tough emotions are part of the whole human package. If we are whole, we will feel rage, disappointment, frustration, sadness, hopelessness, and many more emotions as we live in this world. If we don’t, we’re very likely trying not to feel those things and the act of resistance to feeling emotions is exhausting in itself. But I want to teach you a little practice I use to help myself get a moment of breathing room when I’m feeling any or all of this. What I do is make space where it seems there isn’t any to be found. The best part is that it doesn’t take long to do. You can do it anytime and support yourself when you need it. You might have even tried this before and have forgotten how to do it. Let me walk you through this and see if you get a little relief…

First, sit comfortably. It doesn’t really matter where – you can be sitting at your desk, on your couch, on the floor. Wherever you are, just stop moving for a minute. Close your eyes. Feel yourself sitting and the sensation of the floor or chair touching you. Notice the contact between you and what’s under you, the effect of gravity on your body. Feel the presence of your body in the space. Scan from your feet to your head, not to change anything, but just to notice each part where it is. Move up one part at a time all the way to the top of your head. When you get there, turn your attention to your breath. Notice the flow of air into your lungs, and out of your lungs. Inhale deeply to the bottom of your chest, and exhale completely, allowing the air to leave as if you’re wringing out a cloth. Do this two more times. Now, open your eyes gently and allow the calm to wash over you for a moment. Take as long as you have to feel this relaxation.

Here’s the best news: You can take parts of this and do them anytime. I’ve been in the middle of a meeting and practiced the breath. I’ve been in the midst of a heated conversation and practiced feeling my body. The more you take a moment and practice these techniques, the easier they are to use whenever you need them. For now, just take one minute and practice again. And take your calm with you wherever you go next!

What do you do to get a breather in the midst of everything you have going on? Did you find a moment in this practice? Please share in the comments below!

14COMMENTS

Blog, Inspirations

The World We Live In

It’s hard to find the words to write this story because it’s painful and joyful and hard and sad and hopeful all at the same time. So let me start at the beginning.

It was around 11 am Friday last week and my kids had gone up to the pool with their teacher for a short swim. They forgot the sunscreen and my son headed back to the house on his bike to pick it up so his little sister didn’t get a sunburn. I was headed to the lake in our community to sit and read by the water when he came into the house panting. I asked him if he was ok and he just stood there, staring at the books in the bookshelf. Wondering if he was hurt, I asked again if he was ok or if he hurt himself on the ride home, or if something happened. He hesitated. I told him I wanted to help but that I couldn’t if he wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. He looked up at me and started talking.

“Mommy, I was coming home to get a book for Aria and a white man drove by me and called me a nigger out of his window. I didn’t know what to do. I was scared he might try to do something to me so I rode home as fast as I could.” I could see he wasn’t sure how he felt or what to do. Then he said sadly, “Mommy, I thought we lived in a good neighborhood.” I knew then that some of my son’s innocence was lost that sunny spring morning. Some confidence and security in his world had been taken from him.

I started asking questions: What kind of car was he driving? Was he old or young? Where was he in the neighborhood when this happened? Was it the man who did this same thing last year when my kids were walking home from swim practice?

We sat and talked for a while. I reminded him that man did not know him, so what he said about him meant nothing. Anything he said was more about himself than my son, and I told him that. For a grown man to call a child a racial slur as he drove by, that man had to be coming from a place of ignorance, hatred, and cowardice. If my son had been with an adult, would this have happened? I doubt it. After I reassured him and made sure he had a sibling to accompany him back to the pool, I called my husband. He was irate. After we worked through the facts (there were few), we both had the same feelings of anger and helplessness. We couldn’t fix this for our son. We couldn’t take it away.

After talking to friends and family and working through the anger and frustration we felt, we decided that the next best step would be to write an open letter to the community on our neighborhood forum. My husband wrote it, I edited and made suggestions, and he posted it early the next morning. We’ve been in our large neighborhood for more than 13 years and we know a few families and most of our immediate neighbors, but we aren’t close to many of them. So we weren’t really sure what kind of response we’d get from this letter. Would there be silence? Token messages of support?

What happened next was truly moving. Immediately, strong messages of support came back in response to the letter. Most of them were from families we hadn’t met, expressing their outrage at our experience and their rejection of this kind of behavior in our community. Then our close neighbors started to respond. The older man on the corner nearest to where the incident occurred walked up the street to our house and rang the doorbell. He stood on our front steps (we would have invited him in, but his wife is medically frail and we are in a pandemic) and expressed his horror that this happened to us. He then told the kids that if they ever were in the neighborhood and felt unsafe, they could always come to his door and he would protect them like his own children. I had tears in my eyes as we expressed our thanks to him.

Our next-door neighbors are originally from the Middle East, and the wife came to our door with a loaf of homemade bread and chocolate chip cookies. She told us a couple of stories of how her children were called names and told to stay away from the community pool a few years ago. They haven’t been back to the pool since. She was so encouraged that we shared our story on the neighborhood forum that she felt moved to share theirs as well. She saw some comments that expressed hope that our story was an isolated incident, and she wanted to help people know that it was not.

Our love gift of homemade bread…

When our across-the-street neighbor retired from his law practice, we were invited over for a garden retirement party. Ever since we’ve been friendly with them and catch up with our lives when we see each other while picking up the mail or walking the neighborhood. This is what they did for us:

This is the world in which we live. It’s like my dad told me: There are good people in the world, and there are bad people. There are people who would attack a child in the street. And there are people who would offer to comb their security camera footage to try to find the license plate of the driver who did this to my son. There are neighbors who bake bread and offer sanctuary and support and love. There are people who are willing to have conversations, even when they are hard or uncomfortable or require self-examination. It’s not a perfect world, but it can be improved because there are people who want to make it better. I am one of these people. So I am called to share, to love, to have the hard conversations. I am here to do what the Spirit has called me to do to make this world better, whether it’s in my neighborhood, in my work, in my church, or in my home. So I’m listening and praying and following. It’s going to take some time in meditation with God for me to know what to do with all my emotions. So many of us are dealing with powerful emotions in this climate of racial inequity. But I am sure there is an answer for each of us. May we find ways to serve and love and grow in the midst of the calling we face in these days.

I love you!

How are you working with your emotions? Please share in the comments below!

And for those of you who want it, here’s the link to this week’s Weight Loss: Going Deeper video. Come on over!

1COMMENTS

Blog, Inspirations

Celebration In Quarantine

Happy Juneteenth, y’all!

It’s been a whole week of celebration for me. This week was my 45th birthday and Juneteeth, so there was a lot to celebrate. There have been lots of birthdays and special occasions since the pandemic hit, and lots of things have been canceled or changed. People have been finding creative ways to commemorate graduates and have birthday parties virtually and I found myself some ways to mark my special day. I thought I’d share so you can use any ideas you like!

Let me tell you, back in the beginning of Coronatine I prayed hard for this to all be over by my birthday. Not because I wanted a big party (I didn’t), but because I love my birthday and I always do something to celebrate. Also, I wanted to keep my plans in place. The kids were going to camp, I was gonna have a staycation, I was going to go to a day spa and get a massage, and I was most certainly going out to a special dinner. None of that happened.

But that doesn’t mean I didn’t celebrate! I did have to explain to my husband why 45 was a big deal to me. I’ve always treated each 5 and 10 year birthday with a little more excitement, but 45 seemed to have a little taste of the approach of menopause around it. It seemed important to me, even though when he asked me why I had some trouble putting words to my feelings about 45. Does anyone else feel like 45 is a big deal for women?

So after I had a little pity party for myself because my plans weren’t going to work out, I started thinking about what I could do to celebrate. Now, I know I could have scheduled a massage and that the spas and restaurants are now open, but we agreed: We’re not doing that yet. I needed to plan something where I could maintain appropriate physical distancing and do something special. Here’s what I came up with:

First, I kept my vacation time off. I’d taken the week off when the kids were supposed to go to camp, and even when the camp was canceled I decided that I’d still take the time. It had been 6 months without a vacation, so I needed the time to rest from work anyway.

Next, I planned a mini-retreat in one of my favorite places. I wanted to go with my husband, but I didn’t feel right about asking another person to come into our home to keep the kids, so he agreed to keep them while I was gone. So I went away and did a few things alone. Now, this may not be the kind of thing you extroverts would like, but I loved it! Let me show you…

I went to the labyrinth and walked. What a powerful place!

I wandered the community for hours. I picked herbs and blueberries growing along the path and enjoyed all the wildflowers.

I read (fiction only), I slept, I ate veggies and soups. My phone ringer was off and I didn’t use an alarm to wake up in the morning. I never touched the TV – I just didn’t remember it was there!

On my birthday I woke up early and went downstairs to find a new yoga mat, flowers, and balloons from my husband waiting for me. So fun!

Then I went up to the pool for my reserved time and found that no one else had reserved time, so I enjoyed reading alongside the pool for a couple of hours. When I got home, I set my lounge chair under our oak tree outside and read more of my book and talked to a few friends. I enjoyed a nice bubble bath and got on to my coaching class at 5 pm, where my classmates wished me a happy birthday! My honey ordered in vegan Asian fusion food, and my kids brought out homemade cake and cupcakes.

One of my best friends dropped by with her husband and grandkids to drop off a cake, flowers and a gift. The best part was talking in the driveway and getting to catch up after being apart for so long!

Then we came inside and opened presents. My kids made a special trip to the dollar store to buy lots of things, because they said, “We wanted you to have lots of presents!”. I’d planned to watch a movie to finish the day, but by then I was so tired, I just headed up to sleep. It was a beautiful, restful, peaceful birthday, full of the people I love. It was a wonderful celebration!

What creative things are you doing to celebrate occasions while we’re in this pandemic? Please share your ideas below!

And if you’re following, my Weight Loss: Going Deeper series has started on YouTube. Here’s a link to the intro so you can get started – see you there!

7COMMENTS

Blog, Inspirations, Mind Management

It’s Okay To Be Sad

I cried all the way through Sunday service last week.

It was graduation Sunday and the whole service was centered around honoring our graduates. There were songs and announcements and a sermon and all the normal parts of the service, but there was a segment set aside to recognize each graduate. The parents of each graduate had written them a letter with remembrances, advice for the future, and encouragement as they go forth into the next phase of their lives. We do this every year, but this was the first time we did it over a virtual meeting and not in person.

It’s always touching to watch the graduates stand up on stage, smiling with a mix of embarrassment and pride as they hear the letters their parents have written. But as the photos of the grads showed up on the screen, I started thinking about the proms missed, and the graduation ceremonies not held, about my cousin in Virginia who didn’t get to finish playing his spring season of baseball as a senior. I wondered what it must be like for them to be unsure of their fall plans because of the pandemic, instead of excitedly planning for their fall semester in college. I looked around at my babies and wondered, what will graduation be like when they finish high school? Will they get to celebrate with friends and finish their plans and goals? My sense of loss for these kids was profound and deep. It felt like the normal that so often is unappreciated was just not available now, and I mourned for each of them. The tears started coming, very quietly.

As the service continued, the sermon was given by a young man in our congregation. Honestly, I don’t remember everything he talked about. But he spent some of his time talking about his life before finding God, and how he was like the prodigal son living for pleasure. He shared how that life produced a deep anguish in him, to the point where he became suicidal. His story made me understand a little more how deeply our kids are affected by the world in which we live, even when they seem happy and well. I looked at my children’s faces and wondered, what hurts are happening in those hearts and minds that I don’t know about? I thought about the families who lost their loved ones to gun violence and police brutality lately, how they were without them this Sunday morning as I sat with my family. The tears came faster.

As we continued in the last song of the service, the beauty of the music and singing was overwhelming. Instead of singing as I usually do, I sat and listened, allowing the tears to fall. I let the feelings of sadness and overwhelm and mourning and hope in God wash over me. My family watched me with concern, and the kids came over one by one to pat my shoulder or rub my back. When service was over, my husband asked me if I wanted to share what I was feeling. So I did.

You know, I spend a lot of my energy trying to be happy. I work on the thoughts that I create that cause my discomfort and upset to be sure that I’m thinking deliberately. I believe there is incredible value in being the manager of my mind instead of allowing it to manage me. But a human life is not designed to be one of pure happiness. Trying to live a life where the goal is to be happy is destined to be a life full of disappointments and frustration. The full range of the human experience includes sadness, disappointment, grief, fear, and pain. There are so many emotions that we have available to us, and I want to be able to feel them. You might think that you’d rather have a life without sadness or pain or grief. But truly, if someone dies, do you want to be happy about it? I’m pretty sure you’d want to be able to mourn their passing, to celebrate their life. If they suffered, you may want to feel relief at the end of their pain. We have all the emotions available to us so that we can live the full range of human life. On that Sunday, I needed to be sad, to feel the loss, to allow the pain of the pandemic and its effects to pass through me. I needed to mourn the loss of the lives of Ahmaud Arbery and Brianna Taylor and George Floyd. I celebrate the graduates and their accomplishments! But I recognize some of the losses that we have experienced during this time and I grieve too.

So, if you aren’t feeling fully able to celebrate and enjoy life right now, that’s ok. Sometimes sadness is the emotion you choose. You don’t have to stay there, and you can choose thoughts that focus on all the blessings and love and joy and goodness in your wonderful, inspiring, joyful gift of life as a human being on this planet. But if you have other feelings, you can feel those too and know that all emotions are part of your human experience. I know my thoughts on that Sunday caused my feelings, and that I can choose other thoughts to produce different emotions. I don’t choose to produce unnecessary suffering in my life by continuing to choose thoughts that don’t serve me. But it’s ok to feel the feelings, to choose the thoughts, to live this life fully. It’s a piece of the wholeness we are searching for!

Have you been feeling sadness more than usual lately? How are you navigating the celebration and loss during this time? Please share in the comments below!

And, if you’re feeling more than sadness, if you need help, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or chat at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/

And, if you haven’t gotten over to see me on YouTube yet, come see my most recent series on Weight Loss Basics! I can help you lose instead of gain during all this time at home…

NOCOMMENTS

Blog, Recipes

Carrot Bacon!

This was a fun one! When I first saw a video making carrot bacon, I had to try it! Now, the video I watched called for an air fryer, which I don’t have. So I’ve changed the cooking instructions to use your normal oven instead!

One of the things I love about this recipe is that there’s really no special equipment. Now, I love my kitchen toys, but it aggravates me to want to do a recipe and then find out that if I don’t have some fancy machine it’ll take me waaay more time to get it done! For this one, you just need your oven, a half sheet pan, a bowl, a vegetable peeler, and parchment paper.

Before we go any further, I want to be clear: This is not bacon. It is made from a sweet vegetable, so it’s gonna taste different than bacon! But, if you’re looking for a crunchy, smoky, salty vegan option for your BLT, keep reading!

I used a purple carrot in this recipe. Now, regular orange carrots will do just fine, but the purple one makes it look more bacon-like. At the time I made this, I only had one purple carrot, so I mixed the two, and it was fine. The purple really does look better though!

Let’s get to it!

Ingredients

Two large carrots (the bigger the better), scrubbed clean (organic preferred – they did come out of the ground!)

1/3 cup maple syrup (the real stuff, not corn syrup)

1 teaspoon smoked paprika (has to be smoked)

1/2 teaspoon onion powder

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1/2 teaspoon liquid smoke (gives more smoky flavor!)

Freshly ground black pepper

Kosher salt for sprinkling (other salt is ok too)

Preheat your oven to 380 degrees F.

Use your veggie peeler to peel long strips of carrot. I found it easiest to do this by laying the carrot flat and pushing the peeler from one end to the other. When I got about halfway through, I flipped the carrot over and started on the other side.

Mix your marinade and pour it over the carrot strips. Let them soak for at least 3 minutes.

Lay them flat on your parchment-lined baking sheet. They can’t touch or the maple syrup will stick them together. Now, a disclaimer: I made this recipe first on a Silpat sheet and they took much longer to cook than on the parchment. So watch the strips carefully so you don’t burn them! I also found that the orange carrot cooked slightly faster than the purple. So if you use only orange carrots, check them one minute sooner than I recommend. Lastly, your oven may be hotter or cooler than mine, so watch carefully until you know what your oven is doing. These strips have to be super thin to get crispy, but this means they cook really fast (and burn quickly too!).

Bake them for 5 minutes and check them. Here’s where things can go wrong: You can take them out too soon and they’re not crispy, or you leave them too long and they burn. If they are starting to lift and crisp, take them out and gently lift them off the paper so they can get air underneath. If they are still soft, putting them back in the oven for a minute or two will crisp them. If they’re mostly crispy, just moving them off the heat will allow them to dry and crisp up. When you move them to the plate, sprinkle them with salt before they cool completely. The original recipe left out the salt and I think it makes a big difference. If you’re following a strict plant-based, whole foods (PBWF) diet or you’re avoiding salt because of your blood pressure, then leave it out, but if not then go for it!

Enjoy!

Have you seen my Weight Loss Basics class on YouTube? Episode 3 is coming out next week, so go get caught up on the first two!

NOCOMMENTS

Blog, Inspirations

Finding Hope In Humanity

It was Saturday midday and I had just finished seeing patients and doing procedures. I’d gone back to my call room to have something to drink and sit down for a moment (it’s too hard to carry my water bottle and drink when I have to keep a mask on all the time). I was flipping through my coaching assignment for the week when my work phone rang. It was my partner who would be coming in later to do the night shift. She said she was on top of the parking deck across from Labor and Delivery, and that the Blue Angels were about to do a flyover in honor of health care workers, so I should come out to watch with her.

The view from the call room at the hospital – nice when I get to be there!

I didn’t have anything to do for the moment, and the hospital could call if they needed me, so I headed over to the parking deck. Now, I have to admit my ignorance: I really didn’t know who the Blue Angels were. But I figured they had to be some sort of military flying squadron if they were doing a flyover, but I googled them as I walked to be sure. Yep, I was right! The Blue Angels are an elite aerobatic flight demonstration squadron of the United States Navy. I’d never seen fighter jets up close, so I picked up my pace and found the elevator to the top of the parking deck.

There were lots of people gathering on the rooftops, mostly nurses or other healthcare workers, many who’d come in off shift to watch the demonstration. Everyone was good about staying in their family groups and social distancing, many were wearing masks, and even some of the nurses I work with had been able to come out on their break to watch. There were kids and older people, and even a group of bikers on Harley’s had come up to observe. People had pulled off of the highway and were parked on the off-ramps to see the show. I wandered for a moment, then I found my partner and waited by the railings to see what would happen.

There was a buzz of excitement in the air. Everyone was waiting with anticipation and watching the skies. Then I heard someone say, “Here they come!” and I looked up to see two squads of six fighter jets each in tight formation, seemingly only feet from each other. They came over the hospital as the crowd cheered. Then they circled back, maintaining their formation, and flew back over the hospitals. When they came back for the second time, they hit their afterburners and the skies filled with symmetric streams of smoke. Everyone clapped and cheered for the pilots and a group on one side started chanting, “U-S-A! U-S-A!”. Then people headed for the elevators and the party was over – back to work!

It was an inspiring sight! I didn’t grow up near any military installations and I don’t have any close family members in the military, so I don’t have much personal exposure to people in the military. But watching those pilots flyover in a tribute to us, the healthcare workers on the frontlines of this pandemic, truly humbled me. The people paying tribute to us are the people who sacrifice and serve on the front lines to help keep me safe, to keep us all safe. And they were thanking us. I had tears in my eyes when I told the kids about it later that night, remembering how those who are so worthy of our thanks were giving thanks to us.

When I walked back to the hospital, I went through the walkway from the staff parking into the main part of the Women’s Center. All along the windows of the bridge over the street were posters thanking the doctors and nurses and health care workers serving in the pandemic. They were obviously were the products of many someone’s hard work and time, so I stopped to take pictures. It reminded me how much I appreciate the techs and nurses and environmental services workers and the cafeteria staff – all those who make it possible to take care of patients and their families. We truly are a team!

Me and my amazing nurse!

The thought that made me weep in front of the kids as I showed them the video of the Blue Angels was this: All these people with all the racial/ethnic/religious/political differences we have – and we are all just people. We all have families that we love. We all want to be safe, and we want our kids to be safe and cared for and educated. We want our elderly parents to be well. We want to celebrate life and enjoy meaningful moments together. I knew very clearly when I stood out there among the appropriately distanced crowd, that many of us would not see eye to eye on political or racial issues, or maybe other issues too. But we had much more in common than we might think. I left that moment grateful – glad to be human, loved by God, and knowing that if we can see our commonalities, we actually might be able to come together to solve our problems. That’s what we do in the hospital. That’s what you do at work. That’s how we solve conflicts in our families. I know it’s complicated when we’re talking about whole populations coming together. But still, I’m hopeful. And that’s a start.

Have you ever witnessed something that inspired your hope in humanity? Please share in the comments below!

3COMMENTS

Blog, Inspirations, Mind Management

The Practice Of Love

Oooh, chile! It’s been a tiring week on the emotional front!

It seems like a lot of things happened in the past 7 days that have challenged my attitude. First, the governor decided to open the state of Georgia for nonessential businesses. Let me tell you why that was hard for me. First, as a physician, I recognize that in this state we are in the midst of the COVID-19 case surge. It doesn’t make sense to me to encourage people to get out and mingle when we know that we haven’t yet passed the most crucial part of the pandemic, and that we risk provoking a second surge by encouraging people to go out to cosmetic appointments and entertainment activities like bowling and movie watching. I understand the economic pressures on the state, but I cringe at the thought of a second wave of COVID-19 and the deaths that will come if this happens.

Second, I spent Friday as the only doctor in the office and had several interactions with patients who demanded things that I either disagreed with or couldn’t do. As we start to bring people into the office who’ve been delayed because of the pandemic, more pressure is getting put onto the schedules. And while there have always been patients who’ve asked for things I don’t think they need, it was easier to spend time explaining and practice patience when the schedules were light. On Friday it felt like every patient I had was upset about something, and I needed to give extra TLC to help them feel taken care of as they went back home. Add to that that being the only doctor meant I was getting phone calls from advice nurses and was being asked to sign forms between patients by the nurses in the office, and by the end of the day I felt like I’d run in circles all day.

I was so grateful to be headed home! I was ready to take full advantage a weekend when I wasn’t working, so I came home ready to enjoy the family. I figured we’d eat dinner, have a fire in our fire pit out back, toast marshmallows and just be together. Unbeknownst to me, my husband also had a day full of challenges at work. When I walked in and saw his face, I knew something was off. After I completed my decontamination process, complete with wiping my steering wheel and anything I touched after I left the office, washing any clothing I wore to the office, and a shower and nasal cleaning, I came back down to start the weekend. But it was a no-go. He wasn’t up for the fire pit, my son was on restriction for an infraction earlier in the day, the girls were sad, and the night was a wash. I didn’t find out until after the kids were in bed all of what had gone down during the day for him, and by then I was disappointed and ready to hang it up anyway.

It took some time and talking, but we worked through the disconnect the next day. But you know when I really figured out what was happening? In the midst of our virtual worship service on Sunday.

It may sound strange, but the pandemic itself hasn’t changed a lot for us at home. We already homeschooled, he has worked from home a lot before, and I’m still working as much as before (with the exception of elective surgery – that’s still on hold). So while things outside the house are kinda crazy, home feels pretty normal. We’ve cut out the travel to church and activities, and the kids don’t get to meet with their homeschool group on Mondays, but they are doing that virtually and we have navigated around each other pretty well. He and I tend to have the same scuffles around home life as usual, but nothing more than that as we’ve been confined. And maybe the truth is that with us both working, we’re not really “stuck at home” together, so that’s why we aren’t in more conflict. So this disagreement gave me a little idea of what other people may be feeling during this quarantine. And that little understanding became much bigger on Sunday.

The theme of the sermon this week was Love, and using this time of social distancing to love people more, to grow in our capacity for love and compassion to others. I started thinking back over the week. While I’m concerned about a second COVID surge, what about those small business owners who have no income during the stay-at-home order? What about the family who runs our local coffee shop – how are they surviving? What about my hairdresser I see once a year for a trim – how is she making it with no customers, and how are her daughter and husband doing?

Together…

One of the women in our family group shared about how the son of one of the patients that they transport to dialysis wanted to show up to see his mom as she was transferred, because he couldn’t visit her in the facility where she lived because of COVID. And even though it caused a delay for them, the transporters allowed him to have a conversation (with a mask and social distancing) so he could spend a little time with his mom. The night before, another friend from church called me to ask for my advice on treatments recommended for his mom as she was being treated in a local ICU with COVID. And I could hear how hard it was for him to not be able to go visit her as we talked over the phone.

And then the comment that opened up my eyes to what was happening in all these challenges was a simple reminder from a friend. He shared how the message reminded him that love is an action word, not just a feeling, so he was encouraged to act and serve to show his love. That was the common thread. In every situation, whether the decisions the government makes or the interactions at work or home, each were an opportunity to practice my love. They were each a chance for me to act in a way that made my love bigger, stronger and more powerful. When I get yet another call from a nurse who is calling me because she can’t reach the doctor assigned to calls that day, I can choose to be patient and gracious and help as best I can. When a patient is irritable and mistrusting, I can take a moment to recognize that she may be afraid, and leaving her house in this pandemic may be very scary and stressful for her. I can take a few more moments to reassure and comfort, because that’s love.

When I question the decisions of our political leaders, I can remember that I don’t have the wisdom or perspective to know all the factors that go into those decisions. I can remember those who may benefit from the decision and have compassion on their situation. And while I might not go to those businesses right now, I can choose to support them anyway because I care about the people behind them.

When I bump heads with my husband, I can see this as the greatest opportunity of all to love. After all, aren’t the deepest hurts we feel with those we love? This is when I get to dig deep, reach for my compassion and understanding, and choose to be kind and gentle even if I’m feeling disappointed. Besides, the action that I feel hurt about is almost never intentional. When I stay in my own point of view, I miss the chance to grow and expand. When I reach, when I look for other ways to see the circumstances and see them from his perspective, I gain a bigger heart, more compassion, and I can love even more.

Many of us grew up watching romantic movies and reading stories and learned that love is a feeling that comes when all the stars align, or everything falls into place, or it’s just meant to be. But love is so much more than a feeling. It’s a practice! It takes energy, effort, awareness, and intention. The good news is that life gives us plenty of opportunity to grow in love. Thank God for the practice!

Have you found ways that life is challenging you to grow in love? How have you seen the call to love bigger in your life? Please share in the comments below!

8COMMENTS

Blog, Inspirations, Mind Management

Am I Weird?

I was on the phone the other day with my husband, talking about some upcoming plans. As we compared our thoughts about the plans, we realized that we had very different perspectives on them. This is usually the case. As a rule, my husband and I see things from completely different points of view. I don’t know if it’s the male-female thing, or differences in upbringing. But I’ve come to expect it!

This time though, when I gave my take on the plan and acknowledged that I probably was a little different in my thinking, he said something that made me stop in my tracks. He called me “weird”. It wasn’t in a negative way, more an offhanded comment, noting that I often have a unique way of thinking and doing things, at least from his perspective. But it made me think:

Am I weird?

When I was a kid, being called weird was an insult. No one wanted to be the weird kid – being different and unique wasn’t a compliment! It’s funny though, after decades of being an adult and learning to be myself and embrace the exclusively individual parts of myself, being called weird still sounded a little negative. It’s strange, because when I go to cities like Austin, TX or Asheville, NC that take great pride in being weird, I love being there. It’s the different parts that make those places interesting and fun!

Being called weird made me start asking the question: If I’m weird, then what makes me that way? It didn’t take two seconds before my brain started offering me answers. I eat in a way that lots of people find strange, with no animal products and mostly whole and unprocessed foods. I like to cook, where many people do not. I wear my hair natural without chemicals. Even though I have plenty to do raising four kids, running a household, and working as a physician, I still write this blog every week and make videos for my YouTube channel (check me out at Dr Andrea Christian Parks). With the support of my husband and a teacher, I’ve been homeschooling my kids for eight years, even though sending them to public school would be easier and cheaper. I enjoy doing surgery – many people don’t want to see inside live people’s bodies. I am committed to growing my relationship with God on a personal and daily basis and have been for more than two decades. These things, among others, are things that certainly could be considered weird.

But so what? What if I am weird? Being weird now isn’t the insult that it was in fifth grade. One thing I started realizing during my coaching work this week is that the people that I learned the most from and admired in my formative years were “weird” people. They were unique and different and stayed that way even when they were criticized for it. I was attracted to the power and character in people who could be who they were even when others didn’t see their value. I wanted to be like them!

I had a friend named Thea from elementary through high school who was always very different. She wore homemade clothes when that was absolutely not cool. She had Doc Maarten boots before they were a thing. I’ll never forget the skirt she wore made of her dad’s old neckties. She liked the skirt and couldn’t care less if anyone else did. And that was the point: She liked herself and her style, so if others didn’t, then they were entitled to their opinions. It wasn’t important enough to change how she showed up. She was fun, interesting, loyal, smart and talented. I’m glad I had the opportunity to be her friend!

Different and cool…

When I look back over my life, people like Thea were the ones I wanted as friends, women who were clear about who they were, what they believed, and were comfortable in themselves. They were able to be good friends and accept other people because they had already figured out who they were. They didn’t need friends who were the same to confirm them, because they’d already done that work. They would be themselves and let you be you – they saw the value that you brought to the friendship. I’ve had so many friends like this over the years, and the best thing about having that kind of friend was this: I got to become me. I didn’t need to pretend to be other than me to please my friends, and that allowed me to figure out who I wanted to be. Now before I make this sound too idyllic, I certainly have things that I’m undoing in my self and my character. Plenty of things. But if at one time I thought being weird was a negative thing, I don’t know that I ever really believed it, because look at who I chose as friends! And if I love “weird” people and I’m weird, then maybe it’s not a bad thing at all. Maybe my being weird is the gift I get to give to the world.

I love gifts – never know what’s inside, but it’s fun to find out!

And you? Maybe you like to do things with your kids that seem a little strange to others. It might be that you have a love for knitting that no one knows about. You might be growing your own food and canning it at the end of the growing season (come teach me!). You may love cutting your own grass and planting flowers in your yard. Whatever it is that makes your heart sing, that thing that makes you different, that’s the thing that you have to give to the world. It’s the thing that other people get to admire about you, so don’t hide it. It may be “weird”, but it’s authentically you and worth celebrating. So be your unique, different, weird self – you’re what makes life wonderful. Go be a gift!

What is it about you that’s weird? I want to know you better, so please share in the comments below!

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