Category Archives: Blog

Hello and welcome! I’m glad you’re here. We’re working through the characteristics and qualities you need to get to what you really want, which is permanent weight loss. We’ve been evaluating this for a few weeks, talking about commitment (both to the process and to self) and consistency. This week we’re going in for something else we need to get to our goal weight and stay there.

Resiliency.

Sounds good, right? Resilience seems like a positive quality we should cultivate in our lives. So why don’t we have it? Let me describe it another way. Resilience is the willingness to fail.

Welp, that doesn’t sound so good, does it?

Nope, not here to fail. Aren’t we supposed to be doing things that make us successful? Stay with me. Resilience is crucial to your success. If you have no tolerance for failure, you will be limited in what you can create for yourself. Let me give you an example.

Think about an infant who’s learning to walk. In the beginning, he doesn’t do it well. Every time he gets up and tries to take a step, he falls down. If that were the end of the story, you’d have 16-year-olds hanging out in a bouncy seat! But they keep trying and getting better until all of a sudden they’ve got it and are tearing around the house as fast as their little legs can carry them. Little kids are MUCH better at resilience than we are.

If we weren’t willing to fail, we’d never learn to ride a bike, or roller skate, or read a book, all things we learned how to do when we were young.

Now, we think that because we’re our mature adult selves that failure isn’t for us. We think that we’ll look foolish if we try something new and it doesn’t work. Or we think that failure in the new thing is the end of the story or that the failure somehow defines us. So we don’t try the new thing and we fail in advance.

This unwillingness to fail is what keeps you in diet mentality. That’s familiar territory – never mind that it hasn’t gotten you to your goal. The concept of trying something new seems risky. What if it doesn’t work? What if you tried coaching and you didn’t get all your weight off? You might lose time and money. You could keep doing what you’ve been doing and get the same results. You could try something different and you might learn something. It’s entirely possible that you’d experience what it feels like to live in the body you want without struggling so hard to stay on a diet. You could actually change your whole life! But your fear of failure is keeping you from ever finding out what’s possible…

Resilience is required for permanent weight loss. You will change and grow and learn the more you are unafraid to fail. We had resilience when we were kids, but somewhere in the process of becoming an adult, we lost it. But you can get it back! It takes practice and commitment, but you are able to build your resilience.

I’m here to help!

If you want support and accountability, someone who will guide you through the process of creating the permanent weight loss you want for yourself, email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com. We will set up a free one-hour consultation and get you started on the path to achieving your own permanent weight loss!

Don’t wait though. I’ve only got one slot left for one-on-one coaching. Once it’s full, you’ll have to wait until I graduate out some clients before we can work together. I’d love to help you find the success that my clients are experiencing! Let’s get what you want together!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Welcome back! Here we are, getting into the topic that we already know we need and yet don’t follow in our goal of permanent weight loss. This week we’re talking about consistency.

I know, you’re already shaking your head. You already know that your inconsistency with your food is the problem! We’re on-plan, then off-plan. We just go from one thing to the next playing find-the-magical-diet that we just haven’t found yet. So how do we solve it? Let’s look deeper.

First, magical diet thinking is exactly that – magical thinking. We think there’s one diet that if we could just find it, would completely transform our bodies and the weight would just fall off. We think we have a metabolism problem or a deficiency that we can supplement our way out of. So we try one rachet diet after another, thinking that the next one is going to be THE one. We keep doing it because it feels good – not the failing on the diet part, but the hope for the new diet to transform our lives. Hope feels good! The problem is that we’re hoping for something that isn’t going to work because there is no one diet that will solve our weight problem for us.

But we keep trying diet after diet, even though we have no intention of continuing it forever. Have you ever watched a friend or coworker try a plan and lose weight and think that maybe that’s the plan for you, even though you hate packaged meals and bars (or whatever they’re doing)? So you think you’ll do it to get the weight off and then you’ll figure out how to maintain your weight loss when you get there. Except you don’t, because the way you get there is how you stay there. Every diet works for someone, as long as they stay on the diet. But no one really wants to live on a diet, so we constantly pop on and off the diet – and we never get to permanent weight loss.

The second problem is that we cheat. Let’s say you decided to be plant-based in your eating plan. You love veggies and salads and it’s not too much to stop eating meat – you have ALL the reasons for why you don’t need meat in your plan. All set, right? Until you go to the tailgate and someone is serving hot wings and they look good! So you decide that one wing won’t hurt, right? Yes, it will. Not because one wing will upset your whole eating plan, because it won’t. But your on-the-fly exception making will definitely derail your program. The mentality that tells you, “One doughnut won’t matter” is the same little voice that has you violate your plan over and over until you aren’t really on any kind of plan at all. That’s why you have to stay consistent with your plan!

Maybe you know consistency is a problem, but you just don’t know how to be consistent. Maybe you need help developing your plan so you can stay on it. It may be that you really want someone to help you stay accountable for the plan you make so you actually do it. You don’t have to figure it out alone – I can help! This is exactly the kind of result I help my clients create when we work together – we develop a plan, we work the plan, and we create commitment, consistency, and ease in staying on the plan created just for you. Permanent weight loss can be for you!

If you want to work with me, email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com. Don’t wait – I only have one slot left! If you want this for yourself, it is available to you. Let’s set up your free session and get you started now!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Welcome back! I’m so glad you’re here with me to get the essential elements for your successful permanent weight loss. Last week we talked about the first absolute requirement for permanent weight loss – commitment. Commitment to the process of weight loss is crucial because long-term permanent weight loss isn’t a straight line to success. We have to be ready to accept the challenges and setbacks as part of the process. If we’re committed, then we keep going, no matter what!

This week we’re talking about a different kind of commitment that we need to get to our goal. For many of us, this commitment is harder. Not being able to find this kind of commitment is what keeps my clients from staying on their chosen plan. It’s what’s keeping some of you from scheduling your consultation with me, even though you want to do it! It’s the lack of this kind of commitment that derails you, even when you’ve already made a plan and are successfully losing weight.

You have to have commitment to yourself.

We struggle with this one. As women, we are socialized from birth to be givers. As little girls, we’re told to “play nice” and take care of others. We’re taught to put others’ needs above our own. It’s usually us taking care of aging parents and shouldering the bulk of childcare responsibilities. We do most of the cooking, cleaning, washing, planning, packing, and shopping. We do for everyone else out of service and care and love.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Loving and caring for others, serving our families and friends and coworkers is part of a godly life. It’s a good thing to give and serve!

But…

When we give to the exclusion of caring for ourselves, we aren’t able to give our best. When we run on caffeine and fumes, we don’t really have as much of ourselves to give. Certainly, we don’t have enough left to plan a nourishing meal for ourselves. We chronically fall to the bottom of our to-do list, while all the needs of others leap to the top. We fall prey to the tyranny of the urgent.

I know because I’ve done it. I watch my patients do it. My friends do it.

My mom did it.

I’ve justified it as my caring for others being part of the gift of being a mom or wife or daughter. And yet, how is having a mom who’s so tired and harried that she doesn’t have time for a snuggle give the best of me to my kids? If I forget that I matter too, then I do all the service for others out of obligation instead of love. No rest, eating protein bars on the commute, not taking a moment to read or relax means you never fill up your own tank. Believe it or not, you have needs too, Superwoman! Taking care of everyone else except you leaves less to offer to those you love.

The training of service to others is powerful. We feel like we’re doing something good when we serve, and we are! We lean hard on Phil 2:3 which says we must look not only to our own interests but also to the interests of others. This is true – but did you see that it doesn’t say to ignore your own needs? There has to be a balance. Even the scriptures remind us that we are to take care of ourselves. 1 Cor 3:16-17 says our body is a temple for God’s Spirit and we are to care for it. Eph 5:29 acknowledges it’s normal to feed and care for our own bodies. 1 Cor 10:31 says we are to eat and drink to the glory of God. Do we consider our self-care and feeding as an act of worship and obedience? Can you see losing your weight as honoring God?

We have very full lives! Carving out space for yourself in this one wonderful life you have is good and right and necessary. You have to have a commitment to yourself to be able to get to the permanent weight loss you want. You might agree with me but just don’t know how you’ll get it done. Maybe you need help. One way you can begin is by scheduling a consultation with me – it’s one hour that you can devote to caring for your needs.  Email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and we’ll get you started. You can do this – I’m here to help!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Welcome back! We’re starting a new series on What Really Matters For Permanent Weight Loss and I’m really glad you’re here. This is the first week of the series and I’m so excited to share these essential elements that you must have to get to your goal and stay there – let’s get started!

If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent an incredible amount of time, energy, effort, and resources to lose weight. You’ve bought the shakes and hired a trainer and taken the pills and followed the plans. You’ve bought premade meals and spent hours in the kitchen doing food prep. So when I say that in order to succeed at permanent weight loss you have to have commitment, you figure you already have that. I mean, look at all the effort and work you’ve put in already!

The commitment I’m talking about is different. Investing in a program and following it for two months or two weeks is one kind of work.  I don’t downplay any of your efforts to this point – you’ve been working hard! The kind of commitment I’m talking about this week is a commitment to the process. It’s different than cutting carbs for 6 weeks and then falling off because it’s Thanksgiving. This is more than working a plan until it seems like it’s not working anymore and then taking a week or month off from trying to get to your goal.

This commitment lasts regardless of whether the scale goes down or not. When you’re truly committed to the process, you’re going forward no matter what the scale says or whether you see quick progress or not. You are moving toward your goal even if the scale seems stuck or you’re inching down slower than you want. If the scale jumps up a pound or two after you go out to eat, you don’t throw out the plan – you attribute the gain to water weight or the wine with dinner or the dessert you shared, and you know that you will lose it over the next few days while you follow your plan. No matter what, you’re going to keep it pushing – you’re going to do what it takes to figure this out!

Staying committed doesn’t have to be hard or painful. It’s not a never-ending marathon! The kind of commitment I’m talking about doesn’t involve whipping yourself into staying on your plan! I’m talking about a steady, supportive resolve that keeps you moving forward when in the past you’d have thrown up your hands and eaten a sleeve of cookies. That loving, solid commitment to yourself is a skill you learn while you lose weight if you build it through the process. It may not be something you’ve ever seen before and might sound totally unfamiliar. But that rock-solid commitment is exactly what you need to get to and stay at your goal. It’s what I help my clients create for themselves and you can have it too!

You can do this! If you’ve been a serial dieter, this might sound completely foreign. You might want to develop that supportive commitment but just don’t know how to do it. You may want help – someone to guide, trouble-shoot, and hold you accountable as you create this new reality for yourself. I’m here to help! Email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and let’s set up your consultation, a free one-hour session that’s totally devoted to helping you find the vision and inspiration you need to get your weight loss journey on track. You’re smart and you can do hard things, but you don’t have to figure this out alone!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Hey – welcome back! It’s so good to have you here for this last episode in our series on the costs of NOT losing the weight. Today we’re going to talk about the loss of intimacy that we experience when we live in a body that’s heavier than we want. I know you’re thinking this is going to be all about sex – but it’s so much more than that. Keep reading…

First, though, let’s get to the easy part: What about sex? Yes, that’s part of the cost. If you don’t feel good in your body as you walk around in your daily life, it’s not very likely that you’re going to feel free and uninhibited in your intimate physical life. Especially when you’re with someone else and you take your clothes off, you’re not likely to let that be the situation where you radically transform and feel great in your body. You might, but chances are that’s not how it’s going down. You may limit what you’ll try with your spouse because you’re preoccupied with thinking about what your body looks like without clothes. That’s a loss…

But it’s not the only one. There’s an even deeper level of intimacy that you’re sacrificing, and that’s the one with yourself. Let me show you what I mean.

Most of us have battled our weight problem for years. We’ve tried diet after diet, new exercise programs, supplements, and pills and none of them have worked for permanent weight loss. But in the midst of that struggle, there’s a narrative going on in the back of your brain that says, “I just can’t do this. I just can’t lose this weight.” Then whatever we try to lose weight is doomed to fail.

Even worse than that is the erosion of trust we have with ourselves. We know deep down that the reason most of these diets and programs haven’t worked is that we’ve cheated on them or gave up on them.  At some point, we decided we didn’t like the diet, it was too hard, we slowed or stopped losing weight and we stopped following the plan. We know that we sabotaged ourselves and that we are the cause of our own failure.

That’s where the true loss of intimacy happens.

When we break promises to ourselves over and over, we start to believe that we can’t really trust ourselves. The connection, the bond between who we are today and who we were in the past is connected. If we believe that who we are today is someone who doesn’t keep promises to ourselves, then we don’t make decisions that we will honor today either. We don’t believe that we can and are making decisions around our weight that should be trusted. So, we break the promises we make around losing weight, we sabotage our plan, we tell ourselves today that it won’t matter tomorrow. And we don’t lose weight and we gain more.

But the real loss is the connection we have within ourselves, the intimacy of knowing that we can trust ourselves. We lose out on knowing that no matter what, we have our own back. We miss out on building closeness and intimacy within ourselves. That’s a pretty high cost to pay!

You don’t have to keep paying it though. This is one of the things I work on with my clients – how to learn to trust themselves again, to make decisions and honor them, to know that weight loss is possible for them. Then they prove themselves right! It’s one of the things that I love most about coaching – watching my clients regain trust in themselves as they lose their weight for good!

You can do it! If you want to get help to get to your weight loss goal and build back your intimacy with yourself, email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com to schedule your consultation.  I can help you create permanent weight loss and get the life you really want!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Welcome, welcome, welcome! It’s so good to have you here!

Can you tell I’m excited about this week’s post? This series on the costs of NOT losing weight has been such a great topic to teach. I have said it before and I’ll say it again: The first step in change is awareness. Once we can see what is, we have a chance to change to create what we want. Permanent weight loss begins with awareness; awareness of the situation, the desire for change, and the costs of not changing. These weeks that we’ve been looking at the costs of not changing have reminded me to go get what I want – I hope they’re doing the same for you!

This week we’re going to talk about the loss of confidence that comes with NOT losing the weight. I want to make a disclaimer first: I am a fan of the body positivity movement. I do NOT believe that you have to be a certain size to be confident, and I celebrate women who strut their stuff in any size body!

Your body is a gift, a temple, and it’s to be cared for and nourished, not shamed. Shame is one of the worst places from which to make a change – I never, ever teach my clients to lose weight from shame. Shame sounds like, “I shouldn’t be this big”, or “I really should get this weight off”. “Should” comes from judgment, and judgment produces shame, and shame is corrosive. It eats away at us, tears us down, makes us shrink from living this beautiful, glorious gift of life we’ve been given. Shame is not good weight loss fuel!

But what if you’ve decided that you just don’t want to be in the size body you’re in anymore? What if you’re ready to change it? Let’s look at what happens when we want to lose weight but aren’t doing it. What’s the cost in terms of confidence?

One way we figure out what we’re missing is to ask what we’d do differently in our lighter bodies. If we were at the weight we feel comfortable with, how would we show up in our lives? Would we try new things, ask for the raise, create something new?

Another idea to consider what we aren’t doing now because we feel like we can’t. What aren’t you going for because “it’s not what someone my size does”? Are you missing out on a dance class because you don’t like how you’d look in the class mirrors? What about that massage you’d love to schedule but hate the thought of getting naked and exposed for the therapist? There’s something you’re not doing because you feel hesitant to try it in the body you’re in right now. What are you missing out on?

Sometimes the shame is more insidious. There’s a mean little voice in our head that tells us, “You don’t deserve to feel good in your body. You made this body like this by being greedy and out of control, so now you get to live with it. When you decide to get yourself together and stop stuffing your face every chance you get, then you can feel better. Until then, you ought to feel like trash.” That’s the kind of judgment and shame that went through my head all the time before I lost weight. That little voice is a liar! You get to lose the weight because you want to, not because losing the weight makes you any more worthy than you are RIGHT NOW. When that’s the voice you listen to, you freeze, you wait, you don’t move ahead. That voice is crippling, and it has got to go! You get to choose what you make of this life and you don’t need any self-constructed roadblocks preventing you from creating the life you are called to live. You create the confidence to live the life you’re here to live!

You can lose weight and you don’t have to sacrifice your confidence to do it! If you know you’re ready to move forward and you want help – I’m here! If you want support, guidance, and accountability from someone who’s been there, email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and ask for a time for your free consultation. Let’s get started!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Hello again! We’re working together to count the costs of NOT losing the weight you want to lose. We’ve talked about time, money, and space so far – all things we’re spending without really being aware of it. This week, we’re going to talk about a new cost: Opportunity.

Before we go too far, I want to make a disclaimer: I am not about body-shaming anyone.  You can be in any size body and be happy there – in fact, it’s the best place from which to lose weight! If you are happy where you are in your body and you don’t want to change, then don’t. Societal pressures from advertisements, marketing, movies, and TV are not the reason to lose weight. Putting pressure on yourself to lose weight to fit some sort of societal ideal is just a way of shaming yourself into change. If it worked, I suppose that there would be some kind of value to it. But it doesn’t work.

But you can be loving and supportive of yourself and decide you want to change your body. It’s a choice you get to make. You can decide to lose weight as an act of self-love. You can lose weight simply because you want to. No shame here!

Let’s get back to talking about opportunity.  Those of you in business know all about “opportunity cost”. It’s when you miss out on a chance to do or create something because you choose something else. It’s the cost you pay by with the action you take (or don’t take!).

So what opportunity does it cost you NOT to lose weight?

First, let’s think about what things you aren’t doing because of your weight. Often we won’t allow ourselves to participate in certain activities because we feel too big to enjoy them. Think of any activity in a swimsuit. Kayaking, water slides, white water rafting, not to mention that we don’t want to even shop for that swimsuit! Now, you might not be into any of that anyway. But would you be more likely to consider it if you felt like your weight wouldn’t limit you, if you didn’t think you would tip the canoe or get stuck in the slide?

How about long hikes? Is your knee/hip/back pain from your weight keeping you from enjoying more activity? Can you imagine what it would feel like to be in a lighter, more mobile body? I never wanted to get on my bike because of how I imagined my backside would look from the rearview while I was riding. No bike rides with the kids for me!

Those are just activities. Maybe if you were thinner you wouldn’t want to do any of that anyway – it’s just not your jam. Let’s talk about the second major opportunity cost of NOT losing weight: You don’t get to enjoy living in a body that feels right to you. You deprive yourself of the experience of moving around in comfort and ease. You deny yourself the chance to get out of the heavier body that feels like it’s aging faster than you are inside. You miss out on the feeling of enjoying the clothes you wear, and even the chance to forget about them because they’re not pulling and digging and you aren’t constantly adjusting them so your body doesn’t show in an unfavorable light. You don’t get to enjoy shopping and trying on clothes, looking in the mirror with satisfaction instead of dismay.

Do you remember being free in your body like this?

NOT losing your weight has a lot of opportunity costs. You get to decide if you want to keep paying them! If you’re ready to go forward in losing the weight for good but you want someone to guide you and bring you accountability, I’m here.  Email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and let me know you want to set up a free consultation. Let’s get started creating the body and life you want!

Here’s your video help for the week!

Welcome back! It’s good to be back together here to talk about what matters to us. We’re evaluating the costs of NOT losing the weight we want to lose.  It took me a loooong time – decades, really – to get to the point where I was ready to get myself out of misery and lose the weight for good. All that time, frustrated, critical, sad, fed up, and hopeless, spent on a problem I wasn’t solving!

We looked at the time we’ve spent on NOT solving our weight problem last week. And I meant what I said – you haven’t wasted it. All your experiences can be used as leverage to be successful this time in getting to your goal and staying there. Now, we want to move forward and get that weight off! Counting the costs of NOT moving can help our motivation not to waste any more of our precious resources and get this thing done!

This week, we’re going to talk about money.

Sounds easy, right?

It’s more than you think.

First, we’ll do the easy part. This is the best way to get started and exactly how I help my clients gain momentum. We start with what’s easy to do and gain momentum before we tackle the tough stuff! So, the direct costs of NOT losing weight are all the things you’ve spent money on in the past in the name of weight loss. What powder, meal plan, pill, supplement, prepared meals have you bought to lose weight? Remember the plastic shorts to put on to work out to make you sweat more and lose weight faster? How about Slim Fast? Other meal replacement bars and such? Work out equipment? How much money would you estimate you’ve spent on solving your weight problem? That’s a real question – see if you can make an estimate!

Now – I’d have no problem with spending money on any of this if it worked. But there’s still a huge multi-billion-dollar-a-year diet/supplement/fitness industry because the products don’t work, at least not long term. Your goal isn’t to drop ten pounds to fit into a dress for an event – you want to get this weight off for good and get off the roller coaster of dieting and yo-yo-ing up and down the scale!

All that money you’ve spent – those are direct costs of your weight loss attempts. But there are indirect costs too. The hidden costs of NOT losing weight might be costing you even more money than you’ve spent directly. How many times have you bought clothes you didn’t really want because you had to change sizes? Ever find yourself buying stuff off of Facebook/Amazon/take your pick because you’re frustrated about your weight and you get a little boost from buying something? How much money have you spent on random stuff because you we’re in emotional pain about your weight? Can you calculate that number?

You get to choose how you spend your resources. Your money goes where you decide and you can use it unconsciously or intentionally. Wouldn’t it feel good to know that your money is going exactly where you want to solve what you want?

It might be that until now, you didn’t know that your barrier to permanent weight loss was your own brain. You may just have learned that the way you think needs reprogramming to get to permanent weight loss. That’s ok! You keep learning and training that brain and you will change it!

If you already have decided that this work is for you but you want to move with more purpose and intention than you can alone, I can help you. If you’re ready to invest in coaching to get your brain and body where you want it, email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and let’s set up a free consultation to get you started! But don’t wait – right now my coaching capacity for this class of clients is almost full. If you don’t want to wait until I open up for my next group, get in here and get my last spot!

See you next week!

Here’s your video help for the week!