The big day is almost here! Christmas is only a few days away and we’re in the home stretch of all the holiday cookie swaps and food gifts, not to mention the big Christmas day meal. I figure we all need a little bit of reinforcement, as well as a break, so I’m going to post twice this week to last you through the rest of the season if you need help, and no post next week so you can take a week off (and I will too!). Don’t worry, I’ve got special stuff planned for the New Year, so get ready for some goodness coming your way!
I’ve been thinking a lot about the holidays, especially since this particular one is so different because of COVID. Since the vaccine isn’t widely available this year, my parents won’t be coming to visit as they usually do for Christmas. That’s a blow for all of us, especially the kids who were hoping that we’d be past the pandemic by now so their grandparents could visit. But a flight from the Northeast in the midst of this pandemic for my folks is not a good idea, so we’ll be doing Zoom calls with them and all the grandparents and family we can gather up virtually. This is one time that I really miss not having family nearby…
Growing up, my mom and her two sisters lived nearby each other in Brookline (Boston-adjacent). I grew up with my cousins, and holiday meals meant big potluck meals at one of the sister’s homes. The men would be watching a football game while the moms set out all the food – the ham and turkey and dressing and cranberry sauce and greens and mac and cheese and on and on. Dishes of red and green candy were set all over the house and of course, a whole sideboard of cakes and pies were just waiting to be demolished after the holiday feast. Somehow, pieces of the pie crusts and edges of cakes always seemed to disappear before dinner.
Memories – powerful things, aren’t they? We remember the big family gatherings and the food is woven through the memories. We talk about those times and the food seems to come to the front of our minds so easily. We remember Auntie’s potato salad or Grandma’s stewed tomatoes, Mom’s pound cake, and cousin’s mac and cheese. We love the flavors so much that we ask for the food every year, we beg for the secret recipes, we strive as adults to make it taste like mom made it.
It’s interesting how the mind works. When we eat “comfort food”, the food that’s usually full of flour and sugar and fat (mostly all at the same time), our brain gets a nice dose of dopamine, the reward chemical in the brain. So as we’re eating and laughing with family and recording those memories, we’re also recording these foods as extra rewarding. So we seek them out again every year and try to make sure we don’t miss out on any of them. We have FOMO for holiday foods!
But have you ever tasted a special holiday dish and realize it didn’t taste that great? Sometimes the food isn’t actually as good as you remember, and it isn’t because the food is any different. Often, the family is different, the energy of little kids has gone as the family has grown up, cherished elders have passed on, some family members are too far away to travel to be together. We think that recreating a special meal makes the holiday special. But it’s the memories of the fun we had together that made the holiday special. Let me show you…
When we were gathering in Brookline for the holidays, the part I remember most is what the cousins were doing while the adults were watching football and preparing food. We were dressed up in our velvet dresses and dress slacks, wrestling with our biggest cousin (who was six foot four and could sling us around like toys). We were remaking music videos of Michael Jackson and Madonna songs. We were sneaking candy from those dishes I mentioned before (not allowed before dinner!). We were playing games and wishing the moms would hurry up and call us to dinner. We were snuggling on the couch bothering our uncle watching the game until we got bored and wandered off to play a more interesting game. I remember everyone under 18 being assigned to kitchen duty after the meal and feeling like I was being sentenced to prison. The best was all the cousins performing the music video remakes after dinner for the adults (or playing the VHS tape we made earlier once we got advanced).
There’s no meal that can recreate those memories.
Some of the cousins, decades later…
My point is this: Trying to recreate the magic of the holidays with food doesn’t work. The beauty and specialness come from the memories, the people, the time spent. So enjoy the holiday and the family, the music and the decoration. Make the special dishes and enjoy them. But use your mind to find the special moments, to record the memories you want to replay over and over. No matter what you eat, the holiday magic is all around you if you look for it!
I’m so glad you’ve been with me as we prepare for the unique challenges of food and the holidays! I know from personal experience how tough it can be. You don’t have to navigate your weight loss journey by yourself! If you think you want to work with me to reach your weight loss goals and keep the weight off forever, send me an email at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and we’ll set up a free mini-session to let you try out coaching and get you started!
Here’s your video help for this week! The last video is out too so you can be ready before Christmas!